I'm no gynecologist, but I know a cunt when I see one.

Happy endings are stories that haven't ended yet.

The girlfriend told me I drink too much. I told her she wasn't real.

Makeup sex is sex before going out when she's putting on mascara.....right...or am I doing this wrong?

Shutting out the world one drink at a time.

The person you love isn't the person who loves you

The world's such a shitty place.

The greatest cruelty is our casual blindness for the despair of others.

Maybe I mistook heartbreak for love and love for lust. Or maybe you're just a bitch. Yeah, you're a bitch.

I love AA meetings. All that talk about drinking gets me thirsty!

"Boys do fucked up things. Girls are fucked up. That's the difference." -Louis C.K.

I always have a box of tissues close to me because I cry a lot...and masturbate.

Stop falling in love, stop getting hurt.

It gets better

We can't run from what we are.

My phone decides when I can use it...kind of like my girlfriend.

I'm unstable, you're unstable, this isn't going to work out..maybe, I mean unless of course you want it to then we could try, I guess.

What's it like to be honest, honest and happy?

If it's more downs than ups it's probably not worth it.

Drugs are bad, kids. Don't be like me, unless you want to be unhappy.