Just mowed the lawn. First time post divorce. Time for wine and a new husband.

Rearranged the living room furniture today. Had a glass of wine to celebrate, then almost broke my leg tripping over the coffee table?????

True Story. My ex husband likes to suck dick.

The best revenge when a woman steals your husband, is to let her keep him.

How many Vodka redbulls can 1 girl drink?? I'm gonna make the guiness book of world records eventually.

Fucking Spice World is on HBO tonight. And I fucking pay for this shit. God I need a life!!!!

Got my new debit card in the mail today. It has just as much money on it as my old one. FUCK!!!!!

Shook the beer instead of the Clamato......Guess I'll have to take the day off tomorrow.

"No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever". Francois Mauriac

Anyone else perfectly happy with one star on angry birds? Or is that just my low standards playing themselves out?

This day can just go fuck itself. Actually, make that, the last 6 months can go fuck themselves.

Just bent my middle finger nail all the way back opening some "more" wine. I think that was a fuck you from my liver.

Met a great friend tonight. Just playing a game on my phone. Amazing how the Internet brings us all together.

Found out my ex's new gf is an extreme couponer. Best she wishes she had a coupon for a dildo about now.

Anyone else *have to give their dog insulin shots every night?



*forget to

Which time zone is this make a wish at 11:11 supposed to be good in? CST is definitely NOT it.

Members of congress should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers, so we can identify their corporate sponsors. -Alison Bennet.

@lifeofliriope Doesn't sound like a friend to me. Hope you slapped the shit out them and said, "haha fucker".

Quick... I'm from Texas. How do you say "brochette"?

@sususudonym That was awesome!!!