Actual exchange between me and my mom just now--Mom: "How do you spell 'yeah'?'" Me: "J-E-A-H." Mom: (pauses) "Nooo."

So you guys I seriously think Jennifer Lawrence's boobs got me pregnant

@burjz I'm gonna make a sweet virgin cocktail with cranberry ginger ale, eggnog and a stick of holiday incense & call it the Bloody Canadian

I like good guys who grow up too fast and believe in duty and honor and the good of the many above all. Aka "boring characters".

Hold up, Syrio Forel. You just knocked out 5 dudes, and you can't grab a sword from one of them so you don't have to fight with a stick?

CAN YOU SERIOUSLY THINK OF NOTHING ELSE to illustrate your absurd point? Oh wait, no, you can't.

Why do guys who get butthurt when women point out male privilege ALWAYS, ALWAYS talk about men opening doors for women?

Photo: ichthyologist: http://t.co/lktom8V6

@burjz DON'T LET ME GET IN MY ZONE

AND TO EVERYTHING I SAY, BALLS.

At the bar. Someone in the next room is karaoke-ing "The Bodies Hit The Floor".

HERE IS THE LINK http://t.co/tOFjEnOx

"Oh, I watched Star Trek the other day? And they were talking about whales and stuff? It was NUTS." -UMass bro

Yeah, totally just found a cheezit down my shirt.

@burjz clearly she ran into a force field on the Enterprise

Do they think women self fertilize? Or that hungry vaginas just suck weak, helpless penises in? Way to make men look strong.

Also, why do so many of these assholes seem to forget that men are involved in sex and conception too?

@burjz "his eyes were Regatta Bay with enchanting flecks of Windjammer/come ride down this Obsidian Cove highway with me, baby, he said"

@burjz I think if you dance in a circle of thumbtacks, hold up a mandrake root shaped like a baby, and give the finger they will leave

There is some sort of bizarre Maurice Sendak creature on my chair.  http://twitpic.com/bjvwgz