@lafix's (Laura) most faved Tweets...
It's all fun and games until you notice the *rocket* in your nephew's Lego launchpad came from the drawer in your nightstand.
Gift wrapping complete.
I don't usually have this much glitter on my thighs unless someone's filming.
I don't usually have this much glitter on my thighs unless someone's filming.
For the 2nd time in my life, a FedEx dude has seen me naked. I blame the wardrobe malfunction. And the nymphomania.
Studies show after the words "studies show", people stop reading.
Ballsucking frogbanger.
It's a shame no one will see that.
Ballsucking frogbanger.
It's a shame no one will see that.
You know how when you're yelling at someone & you get in their face and then all of a sudden you're both naked?
I'll miss that Quiznos.
I'll miss that Quiznos.
If you're torn between two lovers, that isn't love. Only jerks would tear a person. Unless your lovers are bears. Bears can't help it.
Telemarketer: Are you a homeowner?
Me: How big are your lips?
Telemarketer: ....
Me: Your lips. Are they huge?
*click*
Me: How big are your lips?
Telemarketer: ....
Me: Your lips. Are they huge?
*click*
If you suck down some whipped cream right from the can while in line at the grocery store, guys will offer to buy your groceries for you.
When I kiss, it's my habit to flick my tongue over the lips of the kissee before going full on French.
Also, CVS clerks are prudes.
Also, CVS clerks are prudes.
I may have joined a gang on my way home from the bar. If I pop a cap in your ass, it's not personal. It's bidness.
Don't you wish after a break-up you wouldn't get phone stalked & mail stalked & email stalked?
It's OVER, American Express. Let. Me. Go.
It's OVER, American Express. Let. Me. Go.
A solo wet t-shirt contest wasn't exactly what I had planned for today in the meeting. Stupid water bottle HEY! DOLLARS!
Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar