Sarcasm is a body's natural defense against stupid.

I wish Twitter could smell

THIS TWEET IS ™

if you retweet this, you'll have to pay fees

There is a problem with my verification. But i know it's me.

Never forget what you don't know.

People who allow their dogs to shit on the pavement without cleaning it up should be forced to wear it as a mustache.

Twittering offline is like sending an email from 1789 in a street riot

When you unfollow, just say goodbye FUCKERS

#mondays

Spoiler alert : you die

Books are weapon of mass instruction.

It's great when stuff melts.

Fuck normality.

Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to meet him.

There's no need to run. Zombies walk.

Vagina day.

THIS TWEET HAS BEEN CANCELED

The sun wants us naked. Don't resist.

The Haikus are easy.
Sometimes they have no sense.
Refrigerator.

Put down the drugs and come get a hug.

BE AWARE OF INVISIBILITY