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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    Gift @lalastrailer Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 547
    • FAVS
    rufflepufffKrazykurtKurtfusedudeamanda_wordsRaoul_Duke_71ArtIsMyPornconcretesledge_LacticStatic
    • 197
    • RETWEETS
    fusedudeRaoul_Duke_71concretesledge_SandyEggoMonkMrs_Cunninghamm__Whateverfitsme____DivineLately______SadAndDrunk
    schaeffyquake
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    When you love someone, set them free but carry around pictures of their new girlfriend & ask everyone you meet who's prettier - you or her?

    • 441
    • FAVS
    KrazykurtKurtfusedudeamanda_wordsconcretesledge_LacticStaticJumpingJesusHBeeStaplerLindaInDisguise
    • 174
    • RETWEETS
    KrazykurtKurtfusedudeKristinaTonkVonBrutal________oakhillbargrillDivineLately______RedheadedTramp____Mr_Clean69________
    LoyalTrophiesMyLoveGoesDown____aimeevc1970Wussawilla________
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    If I had a dollar for everyone I work with who's dumber than me, I'd have $11 cause I work for a small company.

    • 397
    • FAVS
    MrsAtoBfusedudeamanda_wordsRaoul_Duke_71concretesledge_JumpingJesusHseejaylincosweaterfuzzy
    • 161
    • RETWEETS
    fusedudeconcretesledge_Reality_Bytes1lucyabrahamsSteampunk_SkunkJayRaeDeeeAaronMichael_VonBrutal________
    HEXCELERATOR
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    Just realized I make the same noises while running that I do during sex- including the part where I yell "it's been 5 minutes, can we stop?"

    • 330
    • FAVS
    KrazykurtKurtfusedudeamanda_wordsRaoul_Duke_71concretesledge_JumpingJesusHkelkillsseejaylinco
    • 116
    • RETWEETS
    KrazykurtKurtfusedudeRaoul_Duke_71Chanellie92MaxxamillianoakhillbargrillLacticStaticDivineLately______
    chagger73
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    If you're doing it right, she can't say the safe word...

    • 292
    • FAVS
    MaradnyJrrufflepuffffusedudeamanda_wordsconcretesledge_JumpingJesusHkelkillsseejaylinco
    • 119
    • RETWEETS
    _definitlymaybefusedudefavstar_historyDivineLately______NohadOmaarRaymondBeezegertylaundryAuthorKatM
    YesitsAl
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    I'm making a perfume called Forever Alone. It smells like Lean Cuisines and cats.

    • 251
    • FAVS
    KrazykurtKurtfusedudeamanda_wordsMadMaromiZoeeSomWICKEDTRUTH01SaveItForFestRaoul_Duke_71
    • 146
    • RETWEETS
    KrazykurtKurtfusedudeFavstar250spawnofMedusaSaveItForFestRaoul_Duke_71ElaineEmiliaconcretesledge_
    LacticStaticMYLITTLEHUGGLES
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    Am I the only one who goes to the doctor and prays for him to say you have something tragic so you can go back to the office and quit?

    • 303
    • FAVS
    fusedudeamanda_wordsRaoul_Duke_71concretesledge_JumpingJesusHseejaylincojayfohTexMexicanish____
    • 80
    • RETWEETS
    fusedudeMEGraybush________DivineLately______AuthorKatMStorminikaHallowedCrowMr_Clean69________Minden6
    WhatsHerFace33
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    I wish my husband HAD a gigantic dick instead of just acting like one.

    • 264
    • FAVS
    KrazykurtKurtfusedudeamanda_wordsconcretesledge_JumpingJesusHkelkillsseejaylincoTexMexicanish____
    • 76
    • RETWEETS
    KrazykurtKurtfusedudeChanellie92DivineLately______INBREDCAT________Rickmcme1claire_mudie23_Lies
    ElifcelloLoli_Sug
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    My mother never told me I was pretty & constantly criticizes my hair, clothes, & weight. So I tell my daughters they are beautiful everyday.

    • 200
    • FAVS
    fusedudeamanda_wordsconcretesledge_JumpingJesusHkelkillsgEEEEEERaseejaylincojayfoh
    • 51
    • RETWEETS
    fusedudeoakhillbargrillLacticStaticcapecod01________NewMeReenaHello_BellaChanellie92claire_mudie
    akarmutt
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    I know there are supposedly no rules to twitter, but I have to think if you are following Sarah Palin, you have to be doing it wrong.

    • 184
    • FAVS
    239conspiracyfusedudeamanda_wordsJumpingJesusHkelkillsseejaylincoMrs_Cunninghamm__oakhillbargrill
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    fusedudeBaileysIrishTommadamesnooty______TeflonPawnwhatchoo_delete__SquizbotLaniBenokrhine77
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    When you love someone, set them free. Because they are not fucking worth the trouble, fucking asshole, motherfucker.

    • 170
    • FAVS
    MrsAtoBfusedudeamanda_wordsconcretesledge_LacticStaticseejaylincoMrs_Cunninghamm__Whateverfitsme____
    • 42
    • RETWEETS
    rufflepufffMrsAtoBfuseduderaghav_aroraChanellie92MusaMarleyclaire_mudieeluna333
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    Nothing says "I love you" like slicing his gf's tires.

    • 169
    • FAVS
    fusedudeamanda_wordsconcretesledge_JumpingJesusHseejaylincoTexMexicanish____oakhillbargrillWhateverfitsme____
    • 42
    • RETWEETS
    fusedudeoakhillbargrillWhateverfitsme____mellimelleMr_Clean69________deb_collinsgruPsychographEdCay_JEN
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    I texted my son to ask where he went to so early yesterday morning and he texted back, Texas. We live in Alabama. I might be a bad mom.

    • 183
    • FAVS
    fusedudeamanda_wordsconcretesledge_kelkillsseejaylincoTexMexicanish____Whateverfitsme____mellimelle
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    fusedudeRedheadedTramp____DivineLately______moreofffmeMinden6SquizbotPabloGSerskiBrianhopecomedy
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    "Wait until you get to school to poop. We're out of toilet paper." -trailer park mom (me)

    • 168
    • FAVS
    rufflepuffffusedudeamanda_wordsconcretesledge_sceppkelkillsseejaylincoTexMexicanish____
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    fusedudepauldavidcooksteverudykTeflonPawncountryoutlaw79__whatchoo_delete__SquizbotPabloGSerski
    Jebo_te_patak____Oncefallen________
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    The hardest part of my vacation was convincing my mom I was not an alcoholic while still drinking all day every day.

    • 161
    • FAVS
    fusedudeamanda_wordsconcretesledge_kelkillsseejaylincojayfohTexMexicanish____Whateverfitsme____
    • 40
    • RETWEETS
    fusedudeDivineLately______junejuly12Mr_Clean69________WeyAyeChickmadamesnooty______steverudykdamnjustkelly
    YesThatAmy
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    You can say you have great sex with her, but if your gf doesn't watch porn, I don't believe you.

    • 158
    • FAVS
    rufflepuffffusedudeamanda_wordsconcretesledge_kelkillsseejaylincojayfohWhateverfitsme____
    • 37
    • RETWEETS
    rufflepuffffusedudeblisfulignorancErotic_ArabmoreofffmedamnjustkellyJNez6chagger73
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    Sex with my husband is like watching Law & Order. Not something I plan to do, but if nothing else is on...

    • 166
    • FAVS
    fusedudeamanda_wordsconcretesledge_LacticStaticThomas_LullkelkillsseejaylincoWhateverfitsme____
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    fusedudekelkillsmellimelleDivineLately______23_Lieskevinrowe1nayele18__________chagger73
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    I wanna tell my boss the same thing that I told the guys at Express Oil Change, "I can't masturbate while you are talking to me."

    • 159
    • FAVS
    KrazykurtKurtrufflepuffffusedudeamanda_wordsconcretesledge_LacticStatickelkillsseejaylinco
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    KrazykurtKurtfusedudemoreofffmewhatchoo_delete__SquizbotPabloGSerskiLaniBenoZombieionism
    moreofffmeINBREDCAT________
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    I'm at my sexiest when I'm flossing at my desk using a post-it note.

    • 133
    • FAVS
    beersudsfusedudeamanda_wordslivewire3791__concretesledge_kelkillsReality_Bytes1seejaylinco
    • 41
    • RETWEETS
    fusedudeconcretesledge_SmoothDadmellimelleSteveGoldmannwhat_teach________StorminikaSquizbot
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    Am I the only one who checks the airplane wing to make sure someone or something isn't out there during flight? Thanks, Twilight Zone!

    • 129
    • FAVS
    fusedudeamanda_wordsconcretesledge_LacticStaticseejaylincoTexMexicanish____Whateverfitsme____mellimelle
    • 41
    • RETWEETS
    akpu_alexixfusedudeLacticStaticDivineLately______HallowedCrowtexansteveInner_DevilNDIrishLifer
@lalastrailer

@lalastrailer

Mommy McMommykins. The VIP, MVP, OMG of the hospital. Life's not always funny, so neither are my tweets, fuckers.

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