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  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    Gift @lalastrailer Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 549
    • LIKES
    1_ScorcherMondayPajamasrufflepufffKrazykurtKurtfusedude__amanda_wordsRaoul_Duke_71ArtIsMyPorn
    • 198
    • RETWEETS
    MondayPajamasfusedude__Raoul_Duke_71concretesledge_SandyEggoMonkMrs_Cunninghamm__Whateverfitsme____DivineLately______
    schaeffyquake
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    When you love someone, set them free but carry around pictures of their new girlfriend & ask everyone you meet who's prettier - you or her?

    • 449
    • LIKES
    asianxmasangelMondayPajamashistwaddlebees_wingzdebbietuitamacosminaut_kelp_JohnLyonTweets
    • 181
    • RETWEETS
    MondayPajamasdmcado81YourComicMusebees_wingzmemomomentyerpalmildsauceJohnLyonTweetsKrazykurtKurt
    LoyalTrophiesMyLoveGoesDown____aimeevc1970Wussawilla________
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    If I had a dollar for everyone I work with who's dumber than me, I'd have $11 cause I work for a small company.

    • 413
    • LIKES
    jaggedapeMondayPajamaswimittuhippocroteezMichabeanbananagrvyrdScruffyPiakayleighpuget
    • 172
    • RETWEETS
    MondayPajamasdmcado81MichabeanbananagrvyrdLackOfShamevideodrome71skip_dividedamishschool
    HEXCELERATOR
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    Just realized I make the same noises while running that I do during sex- including the part where I yell "it's been 5 minutes, can we stop?"

    • 333
    • LIKES
    MondayPajamasCallMeMrBigshistwaddleKrazykurtKurtfusedude__amanda_wordsRaoul_Duke_71concretesledge_
    • 119
    • RETWEETS
    MondayPajamasdmcado81histwaddleKrazykurtKurtfusedude__Raoul_Duke_71Chanellie92Maxxamillian
    chagger73
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    If you're doing it right, she can't say the safe word...

    • 294
    • LIKES
    MondayPajamashistwaddleMaradnyJrrufflepuffffusedude__amanda_wordsconcretesledge_JumpingJesusH
    • 122
    • RETWEETS
    Tourettes_WhoreMondayPajamasdmcado81beckybbarrfusedude__favstar_historyDivineLately______NohadOmaar
    YesitsAl
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    I'm making a perfume called Forever Alone. It smells like Lean Cuisines and cats.

    • 260
    • LIKES
    Seleste671Pic0ohjfarnhamngvrndSerialFuckuphavocownerMondayPajamasdmcado81
    • 153
    • RETWEETS
    DanteandVirgilXSerialFuckupOriginalChappohavocownerMondayPajamasdmcado81histwaddleKrazykurtKurt
    LacticStaticMYLITTLEDOOMY__
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    Am I the only one who goes to the doctor and prays for him to say you have something tragic so you can go back to the office and quit?

    • 305
    • LIKES
    MondayPajamashistwaddlefusedude__amanda_wordsRaoul_Duke_71concretesledge_JumpingJesusHseejaylinco
    • 81
    • RETWEETS
    MondayPajamasfusedude__MEGraybush________DivineLately______AuthorKatMStorminikaHallowedCrowMr_Clean69________
    WhatsHerFace33
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    I wish my husband HAD a gigantic dick instead of just acting like one.

    • 269
    • LIKES
    naomigallegorose24_emMondayPajamasdmcado81histwaddleKrazykurtKurtfusedude__amanda_words
    • 78
    • RETWEETS
    MondayPajamasdmcado81KrazykurtKurtfusedude__Chanellie92DivineLately______INBREDCAT________Rickmcme1__
    ElifcelloLoli_Sug
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    My mother never told me I was pretty & constantly criticizes my hair, clothes, & weight. So I tell my daughters they are beautiful everyday.

    • 211
    • LIKES
    mona416katspaksHecate41mfiveovMugen_Metroidsnixon2000__kane_rexMondayPajamas
    • 56
    • RETWEETS
    katspaksmoreofffmeMondayPajamasJimmerThatisAllhistwaddlefusedude__oakhillbargrillLacticStatic
    akarmutt
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    I know there are supposedly no rules to twitter, but I have to think if you are following Sarah Palin, you have to be doing it wrong.

    • 185
    • LIKES
    histwaddleKennedysPicsfusedude__amanda_wordsJumpingJesusHkelseywompusseejaylincoMrs_Cunninghamm__
    • 48
    • RETWEETS
    histwaddlefusedude__BaileysIrishTommadamesnooty______TeflonPawnwhatchoo_delete__SquizbotLaniBeno
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    When you love someone, set them free. Because they are not fucking worth the trouble, fucking asshole, motherfucker.

    • 183
    • LIKES
    scarred_z_headghostntheshellbeardwaldTony_Million7Don_Fishydizzle141OhHeyLeonVarishaaaa
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    scarred_z_headpoemproseFLboyzmom__DownFrontArtistJimmerThatisAllrufflepufffMrsAtoBfusedude__
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    Nothing says "I love you" like slicing his gf's tires.

    • 170
    • LIKES
    histwaddlefusedude__amanda_wordsconcretesledge_JumpingJesusHseejaylincoTexMexicanish____oakhillbargrill
    • 43
    • RETWEETS
    dmcado81fusedude__oakhillbargrillWhateverfitsme____mellimelleMr_Clean69________deb_collinsgruPsychographEd
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    I texted my son to ask where he went to so early yesterday morning and he texted back, Texas. We live in Alabama. I might be a bad mom.

    • 184
    • LIKES
    histwaddlefusedude__amanda_wordsconcretesledge_kelseywompusseejaylincoTexMexicanish____Whateverfitsme____
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    histwaddlefusedude__RedheadedTramp____DivineLately______moreofffmeMinden6SquizbotPabloGSerski
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    "Wait until you get to school to poop. We're out of toilet paper." -trailer park mom (me)

    • 169
    • LIKES
    histwaddlerufflepuffffusedude__amanda_wordsconcretesledge_sceppkelseywompusseejaylinco
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    fusedude__pauldavidcooksteverudykTeflonPawncountryoutlaw79__whatchoo_delete__SquizbotPabloGSerski
    Jebo_te_patak____Oncefallen________
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    The hardest part of my vacation was convincing my mom I was not an alcoholic while still drinking all day every day.

    • 162
    • LIKES
    histwaddlefusedude__amanda_wordsconcretesledge_kelseywompusseejaylincojayfohTexMexicanish____
    • 40
    • RETWEETS
    fusedude__DivineLately______junejuly12Mr_Clean69________WeyAyeChickmadamesnooty______steverudykdamnjustkelly
    YesThatAmy
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    You can say you have great sex with her, but if your gf doesn't watch porn, I don't believe you.

    • 159
    • LIKES
    histwaddlerufflepuffffusedude__amanda_wordsconcretesledge_kelseywompusseejaylincojayfoh
    • 37
    • RETWEETS
    rufflepuffffusedude__blisfulignorancErotic_ArabmoreofffmedamnjustkellyJNez6chagger73
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    Sex with my husband is like watching Law & Order. Not something I plan to do, but if nothing else is on...

    • 167
    • LIKES
    histwaddlefusedude__amanda_wordsconcretesledge_LacticStaticThomas_Lullkelseywompusseejaylinco
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    fusedude__kelseywompusmellimelleDivineLately______23_Lieskevinrowe1nayele18__________chagger73
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    I wanna tell my boss the same thing that I told the guys at Express Oil Change, "I can't masturbate while you are talking to me."

    • 160
    • LIKES
    histwaddleKrazykurtKurtrufflepuffffusedude__amanda_wordsconcretesledge_LacticStatickelseywompus
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    histwaddleKrazykurtKurtfusedude__moreofffmewhatchoo_delete__SquizbotPabloGSerskiLaniBeno
    moreofffmeINBREDCAT________
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    I'm at my sexiest when I'm flossing at my desk using a post-it note.

    • 136
    • LIKES
    silvertongue37Tabbycat9455gerryhatricbeersudsfusedude__amanda_wordslivewire3791concretesledge_
    • 44
    • RETWEETS
    TankCesarTabbycat9455histwaddlefusedude__concretesledge_SmoothDad__mellimelleSteveGoldmann
  • lalastrailer
      Nurse Lala @lalastrailer

    Am I the only one who checks the airplane wing to make sure someone or something isn't out there during flight? Thanks, Twilight Zone!

    • 130
    • LIKES
    histwaddlefusedude__amanda_wordsconcretesledge_LacticStaticseejaylincoTexMexicanish____Whateverfitsme____
    • 43
    • RETWEETS
    TankCesarhistwaddleakpu_alexixfusedude__LacticStaticDivineLately______HallowedCrowtexansteve
@lalastrailer

@lalastrailer

Mommy McMommykins. AKA Killgina. The VIP, MVP, OMG of the hospital. Life's not always funny, so neither are my tweets, fuckers. #nursesforbernie

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