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Rihanna says, "chains & whips excite me."
I doubt her ancestors felt the same way...
My favorite sexual position is the rodeo. Start out doggy style, then call her by the wrong name and see if you can stay on for 8 seconds...
Don't understand having a type. I find something beautiful in almost every woman I meet. Skinny, fat, shy, bubbly. Only thing I hate is mean
What do you call a black guy flying a plane?
A pilot, you fucking racist!
Facebook: where I tell RL friends what they want to hear...
Twitter: where I tell my imaginary friend what I really think...
My superpower is... Fuck, I don't have superpowers, I barely have powers... Maybe subpowers... Yeah, my subpower is rambling on and on...
You ladies aren't fooling us. We know those perky good morning tweets are being typed while you take your morning shit!
Is it normal that when I am having sex with an actual human woman, I am thinking about what I can tweet the whole time?
NO ONE found a picture of you an NO ONE is spreading rumors about you. STOP CLICKING THE FUCKING LINKS DUMBASS!!!
Better to have loved and lost than to stay forever when every syllable she mutters makes you want to stab her in the eye. AND never get laid
No wonder they gave this tropical storm a female name, I've been waiting two days for this bitch to cum...
Porn is SO fake!
Just saw a chick getting ass fucked and she was wearing a wedding ring...
I call bullshit!
I get thrown out of AA meetings because I start out, "Hello, my name is none of your fucking business. This shit supposed to annonymous"
My dog is lazy, demands to get fed, runs around town sniffing ass, needs to be stroked often... I don't know where he gets it..
oh, shit...
Gentlemen prefer blowjobs
We don't really give a fuck about your hair color
My student are trained to treat me like God.
They ignore me and everything I say until they desperately need something...
Don't love me for what's on my head but for what is IN it... MY TONGUE!
