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Vasectomy: $1,000. Never having to see Frozen: priceless.
I never want to smell icy hot again
I just went to twitter on my computer while holding a phone in front of my face that was on twitter. I don't even like twitter.
My phone is so old it keeps a small dish of Werther's Originals on the kitchen counter.
Meghan Trainor makes the kind of music you hear at parties where nobody has any drugs on them.
My new sounds: RMGJLR - LoseYourself - Unedited http://soundcloud.com/milessounds/rmgjlr-loseyourself-unedited … on #SoundCloud
My new goal is to have a famous person read something I wrote to them on Jimmy Kimmel's celebrities read mean tweets
Threw up a little pumpkin pie and it tastes pretty good the second time too
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