Wow I love every idea from this page. http://t.co/sSf7UGy5

Name of the day: Gaye Lemmons

"He hit me and it felt like a kiss." "Is this a new Rhianna song?" -@ijake

@one800higgins I think the correct term would be "earthy".

"Yes I'm calling to give you some business." "…..I….um…ok?"

The lemon-lime emergen-c I drank this morning makes my burps taste like fruity pebbles. #happythursday

Quote of the day: "Lisa Loeb can get it." - @ijake

Basically came to San Francisco for dinner.

officially boycotting RT @thinkprogress: Chick-fil-a gave almost $2 million to anti-gay groups http://t.co/6Zbd1lKc

My sales tonight were $666.

I feel like more people I know need to be reminded that birth control is practically free nowadays.

@jmoo @scottux @jakebane @somethingnew71 will you guys just stop? here is the real car  http://www.ads.agrisupportonline.com/forsale/5000/5129.jpg …

@scottux @jakebane @somethingnew71 all of these pictures look like the same exact car to me…I'm missing the joke.

Comment on customer evaluation: "I would like to have more illusions/pictures in the handout."
#magic

@ijake @jakebane UGH I got distracted by Peetoo Cutie.

I just shamefully reflected on the fact that I spent 30 minutes looking at Amanda Bynes' twitter this morning bc she's hilariously psycho.

My reaction when I see a coworker using Bing as their default search engine on Chrome:  http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/bridesmaids.gif …

Rick Moranis is 60 today. #agoraphobiccowboy

@dereks121 @jmoo it's a bit different than tweeting about a show that literally JUST ended haha. whatever. I'm out #snapekilleddumbledore

Please do not write the word "knowledgeable" if you don't know how to spell it.