Fucked up that it's harder to get decent mental health care than a gun in this country

@tao_lin will trade this(19 lb) watermelon for "some" Xanax. In manhattan emergency pls http://t.co/zcDSibsw

When the last of the baby boomers perish, this world will know peace.. Until then all expansion must be blocked

@lesleyarfin I'm trying to make L.Ron Tired happen. It's gonna be bigger than totes #Lrontired

I feel really bad for me

@govchristie is so feisty! LOVE IT!

is lou reed on twitter

I won't follow u @taylorswift13

After all that I've been through?

do republicans know about the internet yet

Will anything ever make me as happy as the Twilight Saga

While there is a criminal element I am of it, and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free. #amberportwood

Remember when Jen said "what Angelina did was uncool"

Scientists: create a pill that reduces internet cravings

Death To The Fauxhemian Extroverts

feel like me and that bitch who played Marsha Brady wouldve gotten along great back in the day

You're so vain you probly think this tweet about u

Pretty sure if no one found out it was me I could stab Rush Limbaugh in the neck and have no moral qualms about it

The lol sandwich is such a good texting look ex: 'lol where r u lol'

Shouts out to my fat ass for breaking my many falls