my main problem in life is that i don't want to get up.

i bet the first person who discovered pizza cried a lot.

you can't be an asshole and have a glass eye. it's one or the other.

@ongoingbs everything is shit, except you my love!

tell me that story again about silence.

I LIKE CAKE! http://t.co/kuBYljPp

"sometimes you have to suffer to turn someone on" -advice i just gave my boyfriend.

the only way i could be this bitch's friend is if i could tape her face shut.

my favorite winter game is...clothing layers or fat layers?

Some people don't deserve unlimited texting.

either i'm becoming bitter and judgemental or everyone else has become stupid and pathetic.

so, it looks like all I have to do is lose about 110 pounds to reach my goal of invisibility.

if you take a pack a matches from a restaurant, we all know you're going to poop later.

you guys are the worst.

I wish my nipples were hard all the time.

Anyone who says revenge doesn't feel good, didn't actually get it.

skinny girls are ALWAYS peeing.

these yoga pants are like a hug for my vagina.

the only people i hate are those who are and those who will be.

Everything I love is ending or dead or far away. Adulthood is so lame.