@lefauxfrog's (Mike) most faved Tweets...
Twitter asks what I'm doing. Facebook asks what's on my mind. The cute barista asks what she can do for me. I politely lie to all of them.
A woman smoking a cigarette and talking on a cell phone lingers in the crosswalk, apparently unable to decide the best way to kill herself.
Want to look like a poser?
1. Find a foreign expression you don't understand.
2. Don't bother looking up the correct spelling.
3. Viola!
1. Find a foreign expression you don't understand.
2. Don't bother looking up the correct spelling.
3. Viola!
Landed in VA, unfastened my seatbelt, got distracted by a flight attendant, unfastened my seatbelt again, stood up, and my pants fell down.
Chips Ahoy!
Oh, wait. Never mind. I see just a single chip off the starboard bow.
I repeat, one chip. False alarm.
Oh, wait. Never mind. I see just a single chip off the starboard bow.
I repeat, one chip. False alarm.
The sauce on this chicken dish is so good it could solve world hunger. Well, maybe not, but I've always been prone to hypermole.
Pick up cat. Hold up to A/C. Put cat down.
Pick up cat from other side. Hold up to A/C. Put cat down.
Repeat until no more sides of cat.
Pick up cat from other side. Hold up to A/C. Put cat down.
Repeat until no more sides of cat.
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