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DID YOU KNOW: using your turn signal is a small way you can show consideration for your fellow human beings!!!!
Pretty good day for Michael's, though.
REBECCA TRAISTER!!!!!!!!! This is amazing. I Don't Fucking Care If You Like It http://www.newrepublic.com/article/118735/problem-esquires-praise-42-year-old-women-amy-poehler … via @tnr
Dream of the days before you knew Nine West was basic.
Drinking used to be better.
If EVERY ONE of your horses can get out to save a puppy, you need to redo your stables.
Literally, Katy looks so fucking dumb next to Missy Elliott and I BASICALLY LIKE KATY PERRY.
I got 99 problems and Mitchell in Kim Kardashian Hollywood is like eight of them.
Most House Hunters intros could be subbed out for "So-and-So is a basic bitch. Her wish list? Granite countertops."
I do like ads that imply women who reject men's advances are bad people!
Most inscrutable infomercial line ever: "Unlike other bras, the Milana bra is different."
The World Cup is really highlighting the fact that almost no one I follow on Twitter has a job.
"No, it doesn't matter if our Brittany Murphy looks anything like her, but our Ashton Kutcher needs to be a DEAD RINGER." -Lifetime, I guess
In retrospect, Jon Gosselin's dead voice on "we're in this together" in the Jon & Kate Plus 8 opener should have tipped us all off.
It's pronounced Lie-lah. Comedy writer (currently @HotandBothered). I write Uptalk, a @Tinyletter about awesome shit by women. Subscribe! http://t.co/Dnh1J2hgu4
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