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@leo_g_ash's (Leo Ash) most faved Tweets...
leo_g_ash
I chose not to drive the Ferrari today because I don't own one.
@leo_g_ash
leo_g_ash
I should warn you, I brought my B average game today. Be non-threatened, be very non-threatened.
@leo_g_ash
leo_g_ash
I don't care what it is, a kids toy shouldn't say, "Try me! See Bottom!"
@leo_g_ash
leo_g_ash
My astrologist says to not use sarcasm today. I guess that means I can't be on twitter.
@leo_g_ash
leo_g_ash
You ever notice how terrorists look like terrorists?
@leo_g_ash
leo_g_ash
What I find really useful about cell phones is you can call people on them.
@leo_g_ash
leo_g_ash
Look a the eyes, look at the eyes, look at the eyes... BOOBBIES!!!!!!!!!
@leo_g_ash
leo_g_ash
The voices in my head want me to learn how to use spell check. I told them to fuck off.
@leo_g_ash
leo_g_ash
My scotch is calling me. It's saying you need me. I know Scotch, I know.
@leo_g_ash
leo_g_ash
After the entire semester of studying relationship building it's kind of ironic that I'm gonna get an A in the class but stay single.
@leo_g_ash
leo_g_ash
Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it... sorry I got nothing.
@leo_g_ash
leo_g_ash
So let me get this straight. They held a music awards show. I didn't know there was enough good music being made today to need one.
@leo_g_ash
leo_g_ash
My therapist would be disappointed with how much my happiness relies on twitter.
@leo_g_ash
leo_g_ash
What is it about Monday's that makes me want to drink... oh right, being sober.
@leo_g_ash
leo_g_ash
Your welcome to follow me but I make no promises that I know where I'm going.
@leo_g_ash
leo_g_ash
I have a list for you, how many bannanas will my son waste this weekend. Is that even a list? Shut up.
@leo_g_ash
leo_g_ash
Is it sad that my reason for living is to make the Leaderboard again?
@leo_g_ash
leo_g_ash
My son wiped his snot and drool on my shirt. That, folks, is how a 2 year old leaves his mark.
@leo_g_ash
leo_g_ash
Oprah retiring? Where am I gonna get my life skills advice from now?
@leo_g_ash
leo_g_ash
I'm always wrong, it's like being married again. I thought being divorced would give me a chance to be right once in a while.
@leo_g_ash
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