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If we felt as tired going to sleep as we did when waking up I believe there would be no wars.
Worshipping someone is just a car ride away from resenting them.
Once I called Chase and was annoyed cuz I was on hold for mad long but then the guy who answered said "Hi, my name is Justin Pancake."
Falling asleep is the best day of my life.
Being cool won't keep you warm at night
A dance party is the best thing God has ever invented.
I hate it when I have to do more than one thing a day.
I used to have a lot of rules and stances and advice and opinions and then I realized like a month ago who gives a fuckin shit. Do drugs!
"You have low self esteem but don't worry, that's what makes me like you."--One Direction
Why do we draw sunglasses on the sun? He's the one guy who don't need em.
One of my greatest fears in life is that my house smells weird and I don't know it.
Some guy just made kissy noises at me on the street so I asked him if he wanted a BJ.
I hate it when guys think it's their responsibility to give me my self esteem. I call it "One Directioning".
"Narcissists have no idea that they're raging assholes."
Nothing should ever be longer than an hour.
The 1st hardest part of writing is starting. The 2nd hardest part is finishing. The 3rd hardest part is everything that goes in between.
Beards are where 10s go to die.
"I'm going home to write" is code for "I'm going to walk around Urban Outfitters for a very, very long time."
If you saw an actual muppet walking down the street you would start crying hysterically and then kill it.