I want a door mat that says "come back with a warrant" or "fuck off I'm busy"

I long to taste you
Sweet n satisfying





Letter to my whiskey bottle

If Charlie sheen was a serious partier he'd be dead. I guess he just won't commit.

All of us are narcissists, waiting to get followed and starfucked for acceptance and validation...yes including myself, don't deny it!

There's got to be a heaven because I've already served my time in hell

The reflection in the mirror is better than the one in my head.

From now on, when I do something quirky and am asked about it, my response will be "it's ok, I'm medicated".

It's like I have 20/20 and everyone else is wearing bifocals

time for a booze, pill filled Molotov cocktail for the soul.....

How do you stop a baby from crawling everywhere? Nail its hands to the floor.

I hate those affliction, pants hang below your waste douchebags n their fucking attitude. Shut the fuck up n pull your pants up

Should've put soap on my car so the rain would clean it

If it comes down to it will you fight or will you die? I'm a fighter.....

Pornhub.com would be my favorite site if I hadn't gotten addicted to twitter....

No matter how mean the person the obituaries tell how great they were. I'd like to see obit say wife beater, asshole, hated, glad he's dead

You are my kryptonite

Sanity is overrated

I write to you, without expectation, hoping you'll notice and realize it's about you....

So I just lost a bunch of followers..... oops, must've done something wrong, haha Fuck off

I'm not into joining, yes that means I'm shamelessly self involved....does that bother you? Go fuck yourself.