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All fat people tend to stick together... No really our clothes have caramel on it.
It's Twitter, people. Did anyone purposely run over your puppy? I didn't think so. Smile and get the fuck on with the funny.
My lady told me the pork chops I made for lunch were the best she’d ever had. But soon she’ll get drunk and tell me her ex’s were bigger.
Those empty McDonalds wrappers in my doctor’s waste paper basket are about as reassuring as that crack pipe in my dentist’s office.
Dear overly christian white southern god fearing racists, your lord and savior is a middle eastern carpenter, think about that for a second
I had something funny that I wanted to tweet but then I got distracted and now all I can think about is blowjobs.
Think of how old we're gonna feel when Honey Boo Boo dies from an overdose.
Im oddly funny. Random shit just flies into my head and im crazy in love with @hisdancingbitch.
Stats can't be shown as @letsdancebitchs has never signed in to Favstar.
