Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I bet if we all throw in, we could get that chipmunk his goddamn hula hoop already.
I'm really sorry that I'm a woman who has been socialized to apologize.
I've always taken the message of YOLO to be, "So for the love of god, be careful!"
Pennies are only useful as a tool for avoiding other pennies.
I have an eBay feedback score of 100, so yeah, I think I understand microeconomic theory, DAD.
Live every day like you're a parody account.
Now that slap bracelets are out of fashion, how are kindergarteners supposed to tell who else is into S&M?
I thought I knew what love was, until I learned it's what makes a Subaru a Subaru.
MC Escher's in the house, but you'll never find him.
You're only as attractive as your last tagged photo, man.
It's unfortunate that we've over-bred dogs to the point where they can no longer survive on a diet of homework.
New aphorism: When the shit hits the fan, buy a goddamn AC unit, already.
New aphorism: Don't turn a bush into a topiary tree.
New aphorism: Don't drop a nuke hoping it'll make a four-leaf clover grow.
What's your favorite Hanukkah movie? I guess mine's Schindler's List.
Ladies first, except when it comes to anything that matters.
Love that scene where Darth Vader throws off the burqa in dramatic fashion and announces, "Luke... I am your mother."
Anyone know what kind of night cream Benjamin Button used?