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Why, oh why, can't we just let Oscar Isaac be handsome?
Every day is Christmas for my dog as soon as he remembers he has a tail.
I hope that jerk who killed Aslan gets turned into stone.
Nobody runs in my family.
"Excuse me, where do you keep your dog toothpaste?" she asked meekly from an aisle in the First World.
Is the glass ceiling the reason we're all always a little bit cold?
Hey. Hi. Thank you guys for being nice and supportive about my dumb novel. You're all I could have ever wanted!
History will remember 2015 as the year I went all-in on crop tops.
All publicity is some publicity.
Hearing a grown man say "go potty" was how I learned I don't have a good poker face.
You know, sometimes I think my family is genuinely surprised that I ended up marrying my career instead of my dog.
I always forget the stat... 30% or 40% of all sets of twins are vampires?
LOS ANGELES: Tomorrow, Last Bookstore, reading at a show that will for sure be funny! http://lastbookstorela.com/events/the-last-book-review-may-show/ …
We'll see what the future holds, but "Humped By a Corgi" might be the rock-bottom chapter in my dog's park life memoir.
I'm the kind of person who will try to play air guitar, only to end up air tuning the entire time.
Puns are the first sign of gentrification.
Again, not to brag, but I am so fucking good at incessant self promotion!!! http://www.amazon.com/South-Highland-Liana-Maeby/dp/1477829881 …
Weather report: Too hot to join a subculture.
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