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It's Alright Ma (I'm Only Tweeting)
Maybe this is all because Trump has a weird penis?
Really though, champagne for my fakest of friends.
Ah shit. This mood ring says I'm dead.
Bury me in the photo of Springsteen giggling while his pants come undone.
Wish Trump had tweeted this speech instead.
Ivanka's going to make a wonderful First Lady.
"Reince Priebus" is my safe word.
It's interesting that the word "barista" can mean either actor, musician, or writer.
Newt Gingrich is an onomatopoeia.
I feel like Donald Trump just wants to get his face on money.
You may think the worst person in the room is the guy playing air guitar, but it's actually the one playing air bass.
I can't wait to get married so I can change my name to Liana Married.
What's Melania doing for the talent portion?
Blue lives matter! Smurfs, the Blue Man Group, people who have eaten too many blue raspberry Tootsie Pops.
Aw man, I accidentally got the RNC logo as a tattoo years ago :(
I'm pretty sure the Republican ticket has every kind of hate covered now, but do we know how they come down on cilantro?
Working on it now, Spiderman! https://twitter.com/JamesWeber16/status/753727295106482176 …
Author of SOUTH ON HIGHLAND (2015) and EARL CAN HURL (YOU CAN HURL TOO) (1993)
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