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Ever talk to somebody from England and need a fucking translator?
My "sex" face is also my "holding my breath underwater" face.
Enlighten me with orgasms
Between my cooking and my pussy guys never stay mad at me.
An Open Letter to 47 GOP Senators: Bibi says thanks for everything and the checks are in the mail.
Monster trucks, beer, guns, beef jerky, Sheryl Crow. I just gained 5 followers from the Midwest.
[watching late night TV]
"Do you wish you had more money?"
-OMG ITS LIKE HE'S INSIDE MY BRAIN
Anal Sex isn’t for pussies.
Ex-Fox host tells CNN: Olbermann was right all along — Fox is a ‘cult’ and O’Reilly is a liar http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2015/03/ex-fox-host-tells-cnn-olbermann-was-right-all-along-fox-is-a-cult-and-oreilly-is-a-liar/#.VPzCLVDfu58.twitter …
I've never had Baked Alaska but I have been stoned in Canada.
Melvin was only going to use Venditte for one batter to finish the inning, "but then you couldn't resist."
I spend most of my time convincing people that I'm okay even though I'm usually not.
A wise man admits he knows nothing. That makes me a genius.
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