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I'm ready for baseball season
Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate.
Lee Harvey Oswald Framed By The CIA Because He Infiltrated Their Assassination Conspiracy
I did not watch TV this morning, but I heard VP Cheney was praising torture. What was he on, "Meet the Sociopath"?
Second place is not the first loser...
The guy who invented Crocs™ was the first loser.
George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Just kidding. This is actually a war crimes tribunal."
if you kiss and rub and pet on my pee-pee, candy will come out
For christmas, I'm leaving my kids $10,000 in the bank, moving to a Dakota to be a fracking whore and not coming back.
Fuck me like I just unplugged your phone to charge mine.
I'm pretty sure my guardian angel just sits there watching me, while rolling her eyes and painting her nails.
Because nobody would buy Nut Juice.
I hope the A’s win the WS during the Wolff regime so people have to wonder whether to support him or still hate him