Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
We're heading to the bottom of the ninth with the Royals trailing by one down to their last three outs.
Sean Doolittle needs three outs. A fitting way to decide the season.
Me: Want to role play tonight?
Wife: Not if you’re going to pretend to be a Transformer again.
Me: Erection-bot, assemble!
Brandon Moss. Oakland loves you. So much. So freaking much.
He whispered good morning to my vagina as he went down on me. Gonna be a good day.
There's always that one duck trying to pull a human face in photos
"Dad can you make us some chocolate chip pancakes?"
*Grabs Chips Ahoy cookies from the cupboard*
"Here you go. Same thing basically."
Sex doll so over used she stands up by herself.
I walked in on my wife while I was masturbating
I refer to my wife as "my first wife" so she knows how replaceable she is.
I don't need to get rich quick.
I'd settle for going broke slower.
The only sound I hate more than a baby crying is the sound of my Nana having an orgasm.
To review: US flooded area w/ arms that fell into wrong hands & now is doing it again. Dense & Repeat.
I'm not faking it I really don't like any of you
Accidentally spilled my pumpkin spice latte in my lap and two white girls dove head first into my crotch.