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came out as a democrat to my Southern family and it would have probably been less awkward to come out as a secret dude after all these years
I said "hi" not "tell me your life story"
Bobby took a few too many blows to the head. Hope he uses his ObamaCare to get help before his condition gets worse. https://twitter.com/oddsman88/status/757239578386243588 …
Propose to her with a diamond-gem buttplug.
Landscaper: What do you want me to do with the bushes?
Me: Um make them not look like shit
Landscaper: Good talk
Just send him 60 texts explaining how you understand he needs his alone time.
I didn't hear a word Melania's tits said.
Any college student would know that Melania's speech was plagiarized. Fortunately for Trump, most of his supporters are high school dropouts
I can tell by the giant blue crab tattoo below your calf that you're no stranger to backseat trysts in muscle cars and STD prescriptions.
Sorry I referred to your mom as spanktastic ..
GOP platform calls porn a "national health crisis." As opposed to, say, assault weapons. So guns don't kill people. Porn stars kill people.
"Are you a vegan?"
"Do you do Crossfit?"
And other questions that have never been asked.
A wise man admits he knows nothing. That makes me a genius.
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