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I'll be the one straddling your open casket to slap your stupid face while the rest of your Canadian clan keep mumbling sorry, sorry.
Jumps out window
Floats down onto a zebra
Rides into cave
Emerges in tuxedo
Rolls down mountain
Manages a Quiznos
Cop ~ Sir have you been drinking?
Me ~ Well I drove my teenage daughter & friends to the mall you tell me.
Cop ~ Ok you're free to go.
I'm constantly taking selfies and sending them to relatives so they will have a recent photo of me when I finally blow my brains out
Hey North Carolina.
Stop being a prude and just let trannies take dumps on each other in your bathrooms.
Dude at the park asked if I was 22 or 23 today, I've never wanted to open mouth kiss a man more.
I wish old people would remember how unhip old people were when they were young people and then act accordingly.
I want to go down on your bookcase.
I agree. I'm very sorry I joked about Ted Cruz's daughter not being affectionate towards her dad. I'm a bad person https://twitter.com/nanajill211/status/727700090329169920 …
My safeword is a noun, between 8 and 12 characters in length, containing both upper and lower case letters, and at least one digit.
A wise man admits he knows nothing. That makes me a genius.
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