Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I'd never get married again unless the guy knows how to make biscuits and gravy.
I ♥ dick like Lorena Bobbit.
As much food is dropped on my car floor, I'm surprised I don't have roaches in there.
It really should be considered a public safety concern when a woman with PMS is around other people.
When I grow up, I want to be Rob Delaney. Just not as hairy.
My life needs more cowbell.
I have an inner voice and it sounds like Karl from Sling Blade. Mmm-hmm.
I think there should be a law where all crazy people have to wear googly eye glasses in public.
I'm pretty sure the line to get into Hell is pretty long and The Girl From Ipanema is playing over and over again in the lobby.
I like to scare my manager by asking him things like "why don't I earn as much as the guys on my team?".
I'm really thankful for you people that grew lots of followers but chose not to "unload" a bunch of people. Thanks for not being assholes.
A car in front of me threw trash out their car window so I ran them off the road because I am environmentally conscious.
Our company keeps doing these Executive Spotlights on the Diversity & Inclusion web site. They're all white men.
I am starting to think my smart phone is mentally disabled.