Why doesn't anyone give a fuck anymore?

Why does everyone keep telling me how to handle my bitches?

Some people do real good job of letting me know how stupid I am for ever trusting or believing them again.

It melted in my mouth with every bite.. and for a few moments it was just me and the pure pleasure of butter and honey in a warm sopapilla.

I need to take a little hiatus.. but I love my twitter family, and I appreciate all of you.

They thought it would be a great idea to open a used car lot in the Walmart parking lot, until no one could tell which cars were for sale.

Things are getting a little exciting now. A tornado warning and a loud speaker announcement that we have protesters outside of our building.

If my tweets seem a little compact around this time of day, it's because I just got off work, and I'm hitting send all on my sticky notes.

These Olympians have been swimming all night.. they must never get tired.

I'm sorry I slapped you with the string cheese, but you really shouldn't have barked at me! (Just making up with my dog)

I wonder if the bottomless salad bar from yesterday would let me have a refill today.. I don't remember seeing a "same visit only" sign.

I was feeling special, riding to work on the bus with leather seats, right up until the driver asked us if we knew how to get there.

Had to put my left wrist on ice, and what I want to know is how do you guys go around using your right hand all the time? It feels so wrong!

I had to put my cowgirl boots on to follow my doctor out to her Apollo Beach office, but I will go country to get the good scripts.

When you add a little blueberry to your hard lemonade.. there is nothing left but smooth and gentle.

I was gonna sign up for an Olympic sport, but I was afraid it would take away from the time I spend loving you guys.

I'm not sure what kind of mood I'm in.. but I just put a bouquet of flowers and a box of brownie mix in my shopping cart.

I think I'm more nervous thinking about going to a tweetup than I was when I went to my high school reunion. #TCTU

I had a dream that I went to a really cute hair dresser.. so I let him cut all my hair off, and then he left me.

Doing good.. been driving for almost two hours and only had to stop for a bathroom twice so far.