Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Blah blah. Penises. Blow jobs. People I work with suck. I'm a huge bitch. Funny funny. Am I on the leaderboard now?
I think Clark Gable would've liked me.
Sometimes being unreasonable is the correct approach.
I keep thinking of the Mr. Rogers quote, "Look for the helpers."
Thanks again, Mr. Rogers.
Me: I've got shit to do!
My bed: Hey baby you look so good. Let me feel you.
Me: Oh I don't know if I should.
Bed: I'll treat you right.
I'm going to go to Disneyland instead of getting an iPad.
I do not get this jumping into commitment bullshit. Do you really not want to pay your whole rent? Is that it?
Stump grinding sounds like a dance that only peg-legged people can do.
Don't kid yourselves, guys, women are equally as shallow as guys. I have a small crush mostly based on this guy's nice butt.
It's not that I'm better than you. Never mind, it is that I'm better than you.
I have called people winners for a long time but the term needs a rest because of a certain celebrity ruining it.
Good advice: when going in public,as a couple, do not wear matching Insane Clown Posse t-shirts. Please.
Next time I’m drunk and I legitimately need to get home I’m just gonna tell my body to reject the alcohol. Cuz, as a woman, I’m magical.
I’m so confused. Why didn’t NASA wait until prime time to play the landing?
I have a soft spot for cool old dudes with navy tattoos on their forearms. They remind me of my grandpa.
To clarify: I’m not nice! I’m kind. I’m caring. I’m funny as hell. I’m not nice.
Which is more boring? Weight loss or kids stories?