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  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    My biggest problem with the younger generation is I'm not in it.

    • 741
    • FAVS
    NostradamAssHatonedavedeepZwolf666cynicanoldicusiNuskunowarrantyPsycholaneDaddyJew
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    cynicanoldicusiNuskunavanaxCrowetoonsRYNdoroBacon_Ball________DaaniIsHot________CopperheadSammi
    calluptomeBauartcloudeeuh
  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    If you're not part of the solution, could you, at least, make a liquor store run?

    • 562
    • FAVS
    domesticHcandicepantzdeKenstructioniTomFoolerytjinscotPYWLVoiceOfReason25PoorEvelyn________
    • 54
    • RETWEETS
    OokirstieoOAngieatEatHerearich424perfectlysingleDaBestToEvrDoItafrodiziac80ArykanotErikaJesusCake
    1800Randy
  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    When setting the table, does the remote control go to the left, to the right or over the dinner plate?

    • 490
    • FAVS
    CheVolaynowarranty40isthenewwhatnot2meplease____dhilliard74tackie_jackie____KimmTDothTheDoth
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    ralphlehmann1Plastigirl777Zigs26lolamaeakers______PoorEvelyn________mdawgydogRetweetGalouralampone
  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    Vodka is made from potatoes.
    Which means once upon a time, someone looked a potato and figured out how to drink it. Genius.

    • 438
    • FAVS
    CheVolayCarlosVanSRonlemonpeppadomesticHcandicepantzdeKenstructionbulls_horns______GreatDanni
    • 82
    • RETWEETS
    J_OHHHHHimnotawkwardIamMstanley1995Shaynuuhhguitargm19popscene7cliffshirahAzulTeVerde
  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    While I'm not much of a cook, I know enough to cut sandwiches in triangles to make them taste better.

    • 440
    • FAVS
    cynicanoldicusnowarrantySeanWilliams47ScarletConfettidexter103domesticHdeKenstructioniTomFoolery
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    Bacon_Ball________23_Liesandrew4337This_is_Moose_alidinFavstar500Favschasinmoonbeamsfavstar1000favs
  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    He invited me to slow dance. To the radio. Barefoot. In the kitchen. In my pj's. He's doing it right.

    • 359
    • FAVS
    CheVolaydomesticHbulls_horns______iTomFoolerymaybestef________PYWLAComicTragedyVoiceOfReason25
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    mish_bishBiffSpliffwhatkristensaiddudeck0620sanbay_MrsBlueBird__LUMPcrashtestkitty
  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    Saw "the house" today. The one we both could love forever.

    Looking for "the bank" tomorrow. The one we both could rob together.

    • 347
    • FAVS
    ScarletConfettiGarreTheFerretdomesticHiTomFoolerymaybestef________redherringbearAComicTragedyPsycholane
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    23_Lies_LUMPJordanPurpura
  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    If you love something, set it free. If it doesn't even notice it's been set free because the game is on, you're probably married to it.

    • 337
    • FAVS
    CheVolaydomesticHcandicepantziTomFoolerytjinscotmaybestef________redherringbeartheDanLawler
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    FriskyK2AggressiveBeeBacon_Ball________mikeyversacenerddragonKaysNHhorsecockwashermackattack0108
  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    Sometimes I spice up my marriage by wearing a long black nightgown with buttons on it.

    Makes me look just like a remote control.

    • 278
    • FAVS
    GarreTheFerretdeKenstruction__sHaRD__iTomFooleryjpeace3rdmisincarnateddivadilemmazTraceylei2
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    Traceylei2tjinscotSkyMahshullcuteness723______Bacon_Ball________fadingpacesDoralOrchidstmhco
    LaetPO
  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    I'll bet the Energizer Bunny has, like, the happiest girlfriend in the world.

    • 315
    • FAVS
    cynicanoldicusrd522iTomFoolerydressedinblackMisterBombayinconsequentia2maybestef________redherringbear
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    EnchantrixIrisiTomFoolerymaybestef________BellaRae_DukeOfOyl________FIQMURAD_18JackieluvsUKjasonlight73
    DukeOfOyl________
  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    I think I married a whoopie cushion.

    • 309
    • FAVS
    chiggerweedscalluptomeonedavedeepZwolf666cynicanoldicusxmssvvnxpangieeveemissingblakes
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    randyswife0531onedavedeepcynicanoldicusmaggiemaybecrafMellbivdevoeAm_BurstCbethriceAmberAGN
  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    Do fleas ever wonder if there's life on other dogs?

    • 228
    • FAVS
    ToBeckWithYoudomesticHLittlestSlobodirtymemphisatanenhausGreatDanniPretty_VapidLilbyrdy
    • 84
    • RETWEETS
    Martian_mallowDarcyAfterDarkIngloriousApeiTomFooleryLadyGhagra________Ecokatsfozyletnagpaldivya
    Capsaholic
  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    Preparing to meet my maker. Mom is coming here for Thanksgiving.

    • 309
    • FAVS
    domesticHiTomFoolerytjinscotdecentredAComicTragedyBacon_Ball________Quityerbitchen____GarreTheFerret
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    _LUMPphreeebirdchas50
  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    What a sweet lemonade stand. Your daughter is going be a wonderful bartender when she grows up.

    • 289
    • FAVS
    domesticHiTomFoolerytjinscotAComicTragedyBacon_Ball________Quityerbitchen____GarreTheFerret23_Lies
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    NadjaJovovichwzpurdyLloydAylesBurgee66__________Favstar250_LUMPSpiderogerThe_MarkE
  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a few martinis as a backup plan.

    • 267
    • FAVS
    domesticHiTomFoolerytjinscoteTHEgoddessAComicTragedyBacon_Ball________Will8KDGonzelez
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    suhaanaroradiscopigguwildirish7OptimisticNateZDGonzelezInbredComaDrtyAuntyFranny_Ms_Moneypenny_
    AComicTragedy
  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    If God had had a Twitter account, it would have taken a lot more than six days create the world...

    • 278
    • FAVS
    domesticHiTomFoolerytjinscotbenn_doverAComicTragedyBacon_Ball________CroweJamQuityerbitchen____
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    smiley_yascherry_bombefortuitouslifenot20anymorethejenneralcfowla______JonJon_BrownLaureenMair
  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    Less muscles to smile than to frown? Got it. And how many to ignore you completely?

    • 265
    • FAVS
    GarreTheFerretdomesticHcandicepantzllvvzziTomFoolerytjinscotAComicTragedyBacon_Ball________
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    XR18MFavstar25079protons_LUMPchas50
  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    All you really need to make life interesting is one good mental disorder.

    • 240
    • FAVS
    domesticHcandicepantziTomFoolerytjinscotAComicTragedyBacon_Ball________CroweJamQuityerbitchen____
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    Druidaeduardoprerana123nucIearduckElberOrlandelli__JordanPurpuraLaSeductra
  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    In the mall, asking myself "What would Jesus buy?"...

    • 240
    • FAVS
    GarreTheFerretdomesticHiTomFoolerytjinscotAComicTragedyBacon_Ball________CroweJam23_Lies
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    laughmonkeyboyFavstar500FavsTKeep123favstar1000favsmurphys_law49
  • linajk
      Jane @linajk

    If God hasn't granted you the serenity to accept things you can't change, ask Jose Cuervo. He's a standup guy who has done wonders for me...

    • 239
    • FAVS
    GarreTheFerretdomesticHtjinscotAComicTragedyBacon_Ball________CroweJamQuityerbitchen____23_Lies
@linajk

@linajk

She's come undone.