Hey! No one has mentioned that he took down a bunch of portraits inside the parliament and put up images of himself. #pmharpermustresign

Almost fell asleep on the road today. If I ever kick the bucket I want you to know I like most of you a lot. Thank you for following me.

That was the loudest thunder ever.

Now that's fireworks #Parkdale

Never been Queen for a Day, but I do say "Off with their heads" with conviction.

I'm having one of those nights where I really miss Jewel's fucked-up tooth

Fox News: "#Benghazi is the biggest scandal in U.S. history since 2009, before which we can't remember anything."

Have you guys seen that movie "What's Your Number?" because I'm SO jealous if you haven't.

@anonlxtech thats the only way I check it...'cept I also stand in a kiddie pool full of bourbon.

It's monsters under beds all the way down.

The next Sherlock Holmes movie should be him trying to figure out one of my moms emails.

OH GEE, THANKS. RT @factsinyourface When you wake up around 2-3am without any reason, there's an 85% chance that someone is staring at you.

Can't sleep. Less than 10 hours til special #TOCouncil casino meeting. Have been waiting 6 months in order to say @nocasinotoronto!

Maybe we're the monster under our bed.

Between 1982 and 2008, the top 1% of Americans earned 80% of all income, that's like one person at a party eating 80/100 pizza slices.

Does chewing gum add anything to my life at all? Why am I doing this? It's fake food. This is ridiculous. #theimportantquestions

If my day at the beach pretending to be Godzilla was any indication, none of those children will ever win awards for structural integrity.

Racist firing of all non-Christian chaplains at all Canadian prisons while keeping 71 full-time Christian chaplains. #PMHarperMustResign

Everyone around Harper was involved, but the micro manager PM isn't privy to deal? Simply defies common sense, isn't going away. #cdnpoli

This is the weather for me. pic.twitter.com/4OEh3OdC39