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Julius Caesar is the guy who invented Caesar salads AND the Orange Julius, right? He's a genius.
It kind of breaks my heart to have found someone I thought was really awesome, only to realise she doesn't use semicolons properly.
Einstein thought in pictures; Twitter people think in hashtags. We're all brilliant.
I'm one of those rare talents who always opens the wrong side of the box, no matter how many "open other end" warnings there are.
In case you're concerned about my lack of tweeting lately, it's not because I got a life/job/friends, I just got a new Sims game on my iPod!
My Friday morning has been productive so far! I've been teaching some ants about the circle of life (with the help of a rock).
If I ever open a hotel, I'm going to put a copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in every bedside table instead of the Bible.
How is this "ambulance chasing" supposed to be profitable? So far I'm down half a tank a gas and up two speeding tickets.
Among my many talents is the ability to completely empty cans of anything without using a spoon. Yeah, I'm a real catch.
My dad just discovered Internet radio and now it's a Ukrainian pop music fest in here. Send help. (Or pyrohy. Preferably pyrohy.)
A preteen girl obnoxiously called me "Miss," and now I want to get my tubes tied so I can never be responsible for producing one of those.
These cuts on my hand are telling me I am an effective (though slow-healing) medium for testing knife sharpness.
I hope that pretty soon, we'll be able to connect our phones directly to our heads and skip that whole "brain" nonsense.
I see it's officially summer in Edmonton, since the Lambourghinis have come out to play.
What is this? I've forgotten how to work the Internet...
