Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Julius Caesar is the guy who invented Caesar salads AND the Orange Julius, right? He's a genius.
It kind of breaks my heart to have found someone I thought was really awesome, only to realise she doesn't use semicolons properly.
Einstein thought in pictures; Twitter people think in hashtags. We're all brilliant.
I'm one of those rare talents who always opens the wrong side of the box, no matter how many "open other end" warnings there are.
In case you're concerned about my lack of tweeting lately, it's not because I got a life/job/friends, I just got a new Sims game on my iPod!
Oh, you guys are still here?
My Friday morning has been productive so far! I've been teaching some ants about the circle of life (with the help of a rock).
If I ever open a hotel, I'm going to put a copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in every bedside table instead of the Bible.
It's not a family vacation unless someone ends up sleeping in the bathtub!
How is this "ambulance chasing" supposed to be profitable? So far I'm down half a tank a gas and up two speeding tickets.
Pssst hey Twitter! You, me, fishing, the dark. It's a date, okay?
Among my many talents is the ability to completely empty cans of anything without using a spoon. Yeah, I'm a real catch.
My dad just discovered Internet radio and now it's a Ukrainian pop music fest in here. Send help. (Or pyrohy. Preferably pyrohy.)
A preteen girl obnoxiously called me "Miss," and now I want to get my tubes tied so I can never be responsible for producing one of those.
These cuts on my hand are telling me I am an effective (though slow-healing) medium for testing knife sharpness.
Hey, guy over there. I don't like your pants. Take them off now, please.
I hope that pretty soon, we'll be able to connect our phones directly to our heads and skip that whole "brain" nonsense.
I think we should have an international apostrophe awareness day. Who's with me?!
I think this squirrel is watching me.
I see it's officially summer in Edmonton, since the Lambourghinis have come out to play.