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sometimes i just spin around in the shower then i just keep spinning around in the shower and that's why i take so long in the shower
the average adult ejaculates on over 1 billion spiders in satan's lifetime
hey i just met you and this is crazy im starved for human interaction please let me smell your hair
WHAT IF JIM FUCKING STRANGLED BOTH OF THEM TO DEATH
god is a playtpus, god is a thug, god is a masturbator, god is a big nascar fan, god is made of soap
I JUST DUMPED POT ROAST ONTO MY TITS
ew i just opened my eyes and apparently life still courses throughout my body, is this someones idea of a sick joke
#YourTextGotIgnoredBecause ive died and i'm a rotting corpse and my phone is covered in blood and maggots and chunks of my own flesh
i'll go on "i shouldn't be alive" but instead of like some near-death trauma i'll just talk about how i have no life and sit online all day
there are people that are thrown into a blind rage when they hear autotune and i'm gonna chase them around with that t-pain mic from toysrus
my mom is honoring the memory of this tragic day in history by playing animal crossing without cheats
we all know you're a lizard person taylor swift there's no hiding it
i tweeted crimson tide yesterday referring to my period and now someone has followed me bc apparently it's some sports thing??
i was talking about my vagina, dude
wow a really hilarious thing to do is listen to cradle of filth really loud while staring directly at a horse
an old man just told me smoking would stunt my growth so i took a long ass drag and said ".........im grown"
new type of pack of gum that splits into 3 pack so you can keep one in yor purse tape one to your balls and shove 1 in yOur dickhole
orbs have changed my life and taught me so much
i was born from a whistle and milk from a thistle at twilight i was all horns and thorns strung out fully-formed knock-kneed and all bright