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People are making me laugh a lot today :) This pleases me, therefore the beatings will be temporarily suspended....temporarily
Some people run funny... Like fast zombies....
Who wants to make me dinner, do my workout for me and then bring the dog for a walk?! ANYONE? ANYONE? BUELLER? BUELLER?
Milly just walked into my bedroom, farted loudly and returned to her fartfree bedroom #baddog
'Strangeways is heartbreaking'?Yeah heartbreaking that murderers and rapists are being fed, watered, they have TV, snooker, drugs! Hang 'em!
There should be a way of setting the TV to skip past all the idiotic conversations in Eyes Wide Shut....
No point giving points to Spain and I for one won't beheading there any time soon...
Right, off to bed, not burning any more calories! *Rubs sleepy eyes*
Booo, I can hear little hairy footsteps on the stairs...which one of you baxtards woke the dog!!!!
I'd very much like Hugh Laurie to be my significant other who I could do intimate significant other things with..... #hughlaurieishot
Lot of wasted money on lawyers since it seems everyone knows who this #superinjunction actor is! #THISISWHYILOVETWITTER