To tell the truth, I like my men self-absorbed, she said. Mainly because it makes it easier to do what I want since they don't notice anyway

Far away I remember the joy of you: your hand in mine. Walking the night streets, our voices & laughter twined. The heat of you against me.

Suddenly, the quiet washed through her & there it was: calm & steady, knowing beyond words he was hers & she was his, for a very long time.

Dear Fundraiser: Things I wish you wouldn’t do | Hands-on Fundraising  http://j.mp/13XO97P 

Facebook sure does fucking love patriotic holidays.

We don't have a swear jar, but we do have a "whistling the theme song from 'Caillou'" jar.

I like my snacks like I like my family relationships: unhealthy.

I wonder if pizza ever thinks about me.

"There's a lot of Beauty in ordinary things. Isn't that kind of the point?" -Pam @jennafischer

Me: glasses, pajamas, bedhead, in the front yard with the dog, waving merrily at the bus is pretty much social homicide.

Hold your loved ones close, because life can be so random and you just never know when they’ll be gone.

it was the first time Buster had alcohol since he was nursing

If your kids' school offers free breakfast I challenge you to learn what they mean by "food".

18 photos of the unusual @citymuseum of St. Louis, featuring odd tunnels, giant mantis, bus on a rooftop ledge...  http://flic.kr/y/sd9iDH 

I donated almost an entire weekend to Netflix. I need to get paid for this shit.

Bah! Screw you, Facebook with your casserole recipes and inspirational quotes and reminders of mistakes we've all made.

They scheduled `Bring your kid to work day` on the same exact day as `Bring your hostility to work day.` Let`s make this train wreck happen!

I do not want flatbread from Wendy's.

“I wish I had more time to read” he said as Netflix automatically played the next episode.

It's like Twitter is wearing a "While you were sleeping, Cable news..." t-shirt on and Cable news stay tryin' to find clothes.