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listening to Simply Red, because since I was about 15 I've thought Mick Hucknall's voice is pure fucking magic. Yeah, I said it. Piss off.
GENTLEMEN PAY ATTENTION, using emoticons is tantamount to baby talk. It basically ensures no woman worth knowing will ever fuck you.
DUDE! YOU ARE IN YOUR 40'S! YOU DON'T NEED TO READ OUT LOUD. SHUT THE FUCK UP! (o hai! good morning! folks!) #ihatemycoworker
Seriously how can a grown adult w/a wife and kids not realize how irritating it might be to sit there muttering all goddam day? fucks sake.
At the Pat Downey 5k (taking pictures, not running) because Pat was awesome, and because fuck esophageal cancer.
Tell me Etsy purveyor of whimsy, WHY DO THE "I POOPED TODAY!" T-SHIRTS NOT COME IN ADULT SIZES???
Twitter telling me to follow Dave Matthews. I think twitter is trying to start a fight with me.
There are few celebs I care about meeting, but I'll always wish I could have met Joey Ramone. He would have been sixty today. #gabbagabba
People who post pics on Instagram with a million freaking hash tags. IT'S INSTAGRAM, GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELVES.
Sending me butthurt messages on FB because I defriended you isn't gonna make me seconds guess my decision.
Ever late to the party I'm just now hearing @parlourbells for the first time and I'm completely smitten.
Your walls are naked, I'm here to help. I posted several new images for sale on @etsy today, check 'em out! http://t.co/Yz8Ygfz4
All you runners in my stream, thanks for the update on your morning run. I just ate some bacon, and now I'm off for a mani-pedi.
@angryfred if you are deliberately engaging in hostile flatulence it's time to go home, before you crap your pants.
Yes, I completely intend to waste my last half hour at work today on facebook/twitter doing fuck all else and up yours if you don't like it.
Is there a list I can get on or something to hit Bruno Mars in the face? Preferably with John Mayer? Is there a sign up sheet?
ALSO: tacking "if you will" on to the end of every other sentence does NOT make you sound like some kind of fucking intellectual, you asshat
Fueled by Rage and Bacon. Kittens are my Kryptonite. I take pictures.
