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@livejamie's (Jamie Martin) most faved Tweets...
livejamie
I'm such a 127.0.0.1 wrecker
@livejamie
livejamie
Question: If an interviewer asks me for one of my weaknesses, is "bullets" an acceptable answer?
@livejamie
livejamie
Somebody picked my Dwarf friend's pocket last night. I mean seriously, who would stoop so low?
@livejamie
livejamie
Yahoo! has announced that it's shutting down GeoCities, which is sad, since all those sites are still under construction.
@livejamie
livejamie
The news reports a Texas-sized pile of trash floating in the Pacific. Not to be confused with the Texas-sized pile of trash below Oklahoma.
@livejamie
15
dysolutioncakexploderAmericanDtysoncrosbieabbiloverafitorrescrabapplezbadkitty_davegorumousooner44JustShadoeGoNowGoMrBigFistssucittaMsmashedpotatoes
livejamie
Can't think of a costume? Go to Wikipedia's random article and add "Slutty" in front. I'm going as a Slutty Covered Bridge.
@livejamie
14
rinaedinivegotzoomsdantekgeektoddsterjaredwsmithpoeksjordstaphyllissteinENOTTYWritepopiLamaMrBigFistsdysolutionsmashedpotatoes
livejamie
Papyrus is what would happen if Comic Sans was born in the Middle East
@livejamie
14
gretchasketchlilpeadysolutionnickmagnetboxrachijanjewpacabrahAcmePhotoBencoandhowCosaMostroamwellesMrBigFistssmashedpotatoes
livejamie
Dear America's Most Wanted, I was just on a Greyhound bus with every single person you're looking for. Please advise.
@livejamie
14
dysolutionwinkangelanninjabotrachijanmogrifywillwbrittneygdrewmfistsoffollygirlmonkeyJustShadoeMrBigFistssmashedpotatoes
livejamie
This $20 in my pocket makes me the Bill Gates of this Taco Bell.
@livejamie
13
sarkastickuntivegotzoomsohmysevendavegorumbadkitty_Spinchange_RexHuppkeRachelskirtsJustShadoeMrBigFistssaynomorganbestgirlbettysmashedpotatoes
livejamie
Potassium? It's K with me.
@livejamie
13
heisenthoughtsubwaywriterantichristasnackajaweaemzbulletproofplaid_lemurjorshuwahjaredwsmithSpinchange_danjlcsmashedpotatoesMrBigFistsbestgirlbetty
livejamie
YO TUESDAY, I LOVE YOU AND IMMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT FRIDAY IS ONE OF THE BEST DAYS OF ALL TIME
@livejamie
12
andrewkfromazCapsaholicrachijanTony_Dsunnythaperapodixiscloudya01JonathanDeamerSpinchange_ousooner44JustShadoeMrBigFists
livejamie
This site i'm updating says it requires "Internet Explorer 4.0" - I think it also requires a ZIP drive and a Chumbawamba CD.
@livejamie
12
rachijanrafitorresTony_DivegotzoomsdavegorumJonathanDeamerCosaMostroYayaaBM5kJustShadoeMrBigFistsdysolution
livejamie
You say "potato," I say "please quit yelling random vegetables at me, you're scaring me."
@livejamie
12
shadydaysCynicalNihilistbadkitty_davegorumdantekgeekKBKarmadanjlcSkittle_BrainsJustShadoeMrBigFistsfuddlemarksmashedpotatoes
livejamie
Taking too many vitamins increases your chances of dying by 5%? Well great, now I have a 105% chance of dying!
@livejamie
12
Nicky36magnetboxtysoncrosbielionelstersunnythaperwallet55markdudlikninkyamwellesMrBigFistsshadydaysdysolution
livejamie
All the meat in this store is on the top shelf. I hate situations like this.

The steaks are so high.
@livejamie
11
katefeetietysoncrosbierongillmorecrabapplezMonimusninkyslag_magjamiemichelledavio1962MrBigFistssmashedpotatoes
livejamie
Five-dollar foot-long is my male stripper name.
@livejamie
10
quintseesnackajaweasarkastickuntivegotzoomssiobhan719blondediva11apodixisSpinchange_MrBigFistssmashedpotatoes
livejamie
Why would anyone hate herpes? The commercials show you get a hot girlfriend, a puppy, and a beachside house.
@livejamie
10
tysoncrosbieadtothebonekipalupagusemmyinaboxdavegorumKallibadkitty_catsoueyJustShadoeMrBigFists
livejamie
First person to dress as Moses and put the 10 commandments on two Apple tablets wins the entire internet.
@livejamie
9
sunshynegrlljose602smashedpotatoesjewpacabrahousooner44linajkshannernblondediva11sneaker_pimp
livejamie
I'm impressed Kanye let 2009 finish.
@livejamie
9
Girl11ElevenDolaniteCosaMostroKablooiePhilip_Girvandetweilerjose602thenlilisaidjayrobinson
livejamie
I'm sick of seeing all these discriminatory "Beat Cancer" updates. My astrological sign is not a choice people! It's what I was born with!
@livejamie
9
rongillmorejoeschmittheisenthoughtFauxPapajose602katefeetieVaginaDrumsnackajaweaMrBigFists
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