@lizinla's most faved Tweets...
Given enough vodka and a reasonable amount of time, all things end up being fine. Or on fire. But I like s'mores. So again, fine.
Do me a solid and leave the chicken bones that I buried under your porch alone. It will save me the trouble of more chanting & reburial.
My shoulder hurts so badly and this vibrating messager is not helping at all. The orgasm was nice, though.
Watched the true story of US pilot Deiter Dengler's heroic prison camp escape. It's so tragic, at the end his name is still Deiter Dengler.
Obscure literary reference juxtaposed with a burrito joke that was laden with sexual innuendo. You're welcome.
Hey Mr. Struggling w/ Your Door & Groceries Because of a Broken Arm, My severed head is not ending up in your freezer. I AM ON TO YOU. -Liz
Car alarm shrieks for 10 min. Girl next door empties a bag of dog poo on the hood. Fairly certain this is the definition of a good neighbor.
Ill equipped to live in a world where there are "news" headlines such as: Tyra Banks likes to be naked. It's time to repeal helmet laws.
I love sniffing Sharpies. It's a heady brew of toxins, poisons and carcinogens. ooooohhh. Paper clips are bendy.
In an effort to be more green I ask myself this question before I turn on the AC "is it worth killing an owl?" YES. Every time. Fuck owls.
Hit by 2 cars in the last 3 days. Thus I can only conclude that A)exercise is bullshit. B)God's plan for me mostly involves staying indoors.
At one point the couples at the marriage workshop had me surrounded, but I confounded them with my will to live & still beating heart.
Based on the amount of time it takes to de-ice a plane, I'm thinking it's one dude with a blowdryer and a bottle of Windex.
I begin all my work email replies with "once upon a time" and finish them with "the end". So it's like a story. A really boring story.
If your adverb is big enough to split my infinitive I'll compound your modifier. Related: Naughty Grammar Day
You said sacrifice. I yelled VIRGINS. That's just how it works. But, no, I don't think cut-backs are a good idea for my department.
It's 72 degrees here in LA. I'm not cold, I love my boss and I don't need to lose any holiday weight. It's like I'm not even an American.
Just saw Michael Moore's new documentary trailer. Sweet Jesus, how I love it when he yells at architecture. Classic cinema.
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