Its not cheating if you wore a rubber.

ovaries before brovaries

Sext: I'm pregnant.

if we hung out i wouldn't even bother wearing underwear

pop that pussy for Santa tonight

<=== will fuck for a followback.

The secret to good hair is Dove.....

blood.

I went to go see The Statue of Liberty cause I heard her toga was gonna slip and I wanted to see some green boobies

i'd pause my porn for you.

You can find me at your local daycare center hitting on DILFs.

get an abortion so he knows it's real

I woulda rode Hitlers stache

I didnt ask if you have a girlfriend, I asked if I can sit on your face faggot.

my parents told me i could be anything i wanted to be so i became a dumb bitch

God damn this vodka is smooth

quit Stalin and start Putin yourself out there

i only date drug dealers

"bitching" also known as "penis repellent"

this mac & cheese tastes like i need a boyfriend

i just want Taylor Swift to get fucked in the ass