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  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    I guess I'm no thesaurus, but whatever the word is for "less than not giving a fuck," I'm totally THAT about your opinion.

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  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    I wonder if I can legally change my middle name to:
    "IDGAF ABOUT YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS"

    • 223
    • LIKES
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  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    Men's Tinder Bio:
    In town for a hookup. Looking for a model, with genius IQ, virgin who fucks like a porn star, to adore me & then go away.

    • 302
    • LIKES
    mydmacMeanGeinruffyoungsenorlumpywsforbesTheVillainiestsplinteredvinylUsagiNoMegami4
    • 127
    • RETWEETS
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  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    Online dating is perfect for the girl who always dreamt of reading gross texts from randos trying to hookup in hopes of finding Mr. Right.

    • 256
    • LIKES
    ruffyoungsplinteredvinylrealHamOnWryDONTJIMMYMEJULZnightmopjockeyocatzChanticCatherineLMK
    • 124
    • RETWEETS
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  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    The inventor of the Internet probably is most proud that flashers can now send dick pics instead of having to go outside to scare strangers.

    • 257
    • LIKES
    LindsamorphoussplinteredvinylMarkBuckawickirezeskiLuisa_BentleyKay_SherriRoInSMMissMalbec
    • 127
    • RETWEETS
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  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    You can tell how small a man's penis is by how hard he compensates with emojis.

    • 182
    • LIKES
    ruffyoungsplinteredvinyltwitdeedumLUZCAVADIADONTJIMMYMEJULZxngirlsexp094usChanticthisgirlallie
    • 81
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    Fickle_Filly
  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    It's so adorable that men actually believe that saying, "I only date fit women" is somehow less offensive than saying, "No Fatties."

    • 256
    • LIKES
    ruffyoungsplinteredvinylDONTJIMMYMEJULZBe_CompassionChantichoneybadgerMeliblamethemonkeystoomters
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    DrinkingatWork
  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    Asking a woman if she's a hooker is like asking if she's pregnant: if she's not, you've just made an arch-enemy for life.

    • 168
    • LIKES
    silvertongue37splinteredvinylDONTJIMMYMEJULZjustpeachymestoomterss_cLaN07MsGreenGoddessOne_FineMess
    • 67
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    splinteredvinylPepperbell2One_FineMesslasergirl70poketfulonothinOrignalceQueenkwirkyKerrispeknyc
  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    Love yourself enough not to take any shit.

    Hate yourself enough to be interesting.

    • 483
    • LIKES
    splinteredvinylMilania99TheBigBatmanchoctawgirl73iBswamikayleighpugetcomedytoddLerky
    • 303
    • RETWEETS
    splinteredvinylTheBigBatmanchoctawgirl73LerkyJynErsoRogue1rona65DONTJIMMYMEJULZChantic
    gogomaddy
  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    Romance: Waiting until after the date to check Tinder.

    • 324
    • LIKES
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    • 143
    • RETWEETS
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    CulturedRuffian
  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    Your psychiatrist's opinion about your social media habits don't count if he has less followers than you.

    • 437
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    splinteredvinyliamfabrizioDONTJIMMYMEJULZEasyE_Colixngirlsexp094usChanticthisgirlalliecpsemple
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    • RETWEETS
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  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    Legally no one can label you as having an addiction if you look marvelous doing it.

    • 433
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    • RETWEETS
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    markste71128147
  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    Next on "America's Most Delusional" you'll see people appointing a VP without being nominated, women thinking they can be president & Trump.

    • 193
    • LIKES
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    • RETWEETS
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  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    My boobs are perfect, I don't have to make sense.

    • 717
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    headstrong_girlMandiAtRandomDontTouchMyWineKarenLyneButler
  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    I'm not saying I'm Mother Theresa or anything, but once I did something nice for someone and didn't post a picture of it online.

    • 497
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    Parkerlawyer
  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    The avocado sticking it's tongue out emoji is the only evidence you'll ever need that God exists.

    • 168
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  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    If you text me with the wrong emojis, we can't be friends. Sorry but I've become accustomed to a certain way of life.

    • 243
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  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    And to think, before the Internet, when you didn't like someone, you just got over it and went on living your life.

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  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    Sometimes I think my life is going great and other times I'm not having sex.

    • 243
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  • llvvzz
      PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz

    How badly a guy was rejected by a girl is directly proportional to the length of the blog he writes about her.

    • 167
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PrincessCandyEmpire’s Newest Tweets

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