Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Apparently, the best pickup line is still cocaine.
Let's practice unconditional love in every position possible.
My vagina and I are tight.
Funny is the new good in bed.
Friends don't let friends have sex alone.
If the G-Spot really existed it'd be on Google Maps.
Here's a crazy idea - - -> Let's be thankful of the followers we DO HAVE and stop tweeting about the followers we lose.
I love imperfections because they make people real.
My life's calling; I'm letting it go straight to voice mail.
I just got this Marvin Gaye feeling between my legs. That's what's going on..
Shall I get you a tampon for your bleeding heart?
I'm on a mood swing. Ahhh... Someone give me a hand and push me faster and faster.
The best guys are stand-up's in every aspect of love and life.
Hey you, I wish you were here with me listening to Pink Floyd and pinning me against the wall.
I can't hold a tune on e-Harmony, but I can lay B-flat on my back and sing.
Women cannot live on penis alone....though I'm willing to give it the ol' college try!
I just ate enough dark chocolate to combat free radical damage for at least an hour.
Being in someone's life is a privilege, not a right.
I'm only staying up late tonight so I can hate fuck myself in the morning.
Dear Steve Jobs,
My life needs an upgrade.
Make it happen.