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  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn't made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.

    • 820
    • FAVS
    chompy_jrWhimsical84ComoSayEskimobggas400mynameshankelle8000huesiemamajanota_law
    • 727
    • RETWEETS
    iveyfavsWhimsical84MakeItaDooblaybggas400BeLovelyEssenceDeluxxxeOnedana_kujanCMHShoffstall
    AlanAymieTheAlexP
  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    HEY LADIES,
    Quit making excuses for him.

    You can't put flowers in an asshole and call it a vase.

    • 533
    • FAVS
    cigarinmynameshankNuclearBavarian5haelcanadasandrakspinks4485ericsshadowAWilson52
    • 327
    • RETWEETS
    cigarinNOPeteHere254_RoseAWilson52MatthewDNewbyStupidSophia_MouthOfSasscraziisoul
    10InchesPlus
  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    The day I see a runner smiling is the day I'll consider it.

    • 493
    • FAVS
    CheekbonzMakeItaDooblayHearyehearyeeruraljulesbrellabrittLittleeLauraaaislandjaimeleemonicawarren16
    • 283
    • RETWEETS
    Cheekbonzajo209Peace18islandjaimeleemacattacatItsMeeReynTwoScoopsofpeaConor_McQ
  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    I can actually hear people's spelling mistakes when they're talking to me.

    • 453
    • FAVS
    TheParasSethiMudvilleOutlookAyJakeDayKimmi_McTittiesTheFatgordieMartoriaGchompy_jrafroonee
    • 252
    • RETWEETS
    AniaHalasehafrooneefairy__unicornRahimTRajputmeowwdison_VodkantotsTeejayRushWhimsical84
  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    Whoever said "honesty is the best policy" never told someone their baby is ugly.

    • 309
    • FAVS
    TheParasSethibarry_yorkWhervrIMayRoamfubrookeckchompy_jrMeredithMarsha1fairy__unicornmentaljetsetter
    • 192
    • RETWEETS
    TheParasSethigiselleecocoziddi_anarmercedes_shawtrdecrWhervrIMayRoamchompy_jrRAfsar3
  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    I like to throw hostesses off by shooting back at them with, "Do I look Native American?" after they ask me if I have a reservation.

    • 316
    • FAVS
    the_artist_gvkmdk83Stellaisokalexamarkssrah22el_n3gro126MugsxXxCraigIeroxXx
    • 164
    • RETWEETS
    the_artist_gvWhat_Fuckin_Evardhbsmsbanhammered21srah22charlmeyerShitStormComethawichmonday
    SoapyJohnsonLandon8426
  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    People only write "Congrats!" because they can't spell "Congratulations"

    • 283
    • FAVS
    bospaigeturnerVodkantots5haelMissCurlyBlackskjmeowEllani_BelleTommyDeeseLhazelmotes1
    • 175
    • RETWEETS
    Vodkantotsmogadeetvandana_159thegopujeffreiiicanadasandraTheAlexPcajlagbedey
  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    Don't let a female with a mustache tell you shit about life.

    • 219
    • FAVS
    bospaigeturnerwaygreco_ghockeynutsstefdhondtms1brinkerDrinzoFancyNancyAnnivor261949
    • 135
    • RETWEETS
    ObviouslyDrankNatalieRobeVodkantotsacwoods79LexeeRaeannaKarimSamy98Bownuggetspilot_lou__
  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    My theory is, if you look confident you can pull off anything.

    • 202
    • FAVS
    Gosellsomethingnyxgeekmynameshank5haelChrisdajoinerJjkinky49JeffBREATHEURSIGHOmar__S
    • 111
    • RETWEETS
    mynameshankMissCurlyBlackszeeshawlThe_GetawayGirlOmar__SEllani_BellecanadasandraTheAlexP
  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    When a woman tells you "I hate you" it means she really does hate you or she loves you.

    It's that simple.

    • 178
    • FAVS
    RuthAnnJoyAndswhatllovelyLainejeffswarensWrathis_0texasstalkermomCharmandBrainsethnov
    • 120
    • RETWEETS
    cosmopinciottiSeanathon27SoraIndyAndswhatjeffswarensemrosenickeypaolaalmeidaaun1xphysco
  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    Let's both play hard to get till nobody gets nothing.

    • 189
    • FAVS
    deutschheuteOkieGirl405CharmandBrainsbullets1986echqeumallorymcdulinUcalledmeyour2fekin_idiot
    • 97
    • RETWEETS
    noavgJ0ECharmandBrainsAniaHalasehel_n3groIVabdulTahreemalikDadiAmmimawax80
  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    Bruce Jenner is my least favorite drag queen.

    • 178
    • FAVS
    blurryfotoLipglosslesbohockeynutsUmbrellaCorpLLCCrissC32WarmMantisyolimarie_Vodkantots
    • 96
    • RETWEETS
    Lipglosslesboyolimarie_Vodkantotsleggomymeggo88SickayduhTheresaRamdasKSmithCAthebeachynurse
  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    Still waiting on that Twitter Crush movie, Lifetime.

    • 190
    • FAVS
    5haelCliffDuffyStupidSophia_MFreidkes420blankmanTheAlexPTmoney68TheMichaelRock
    • 74
    • RETWEETS
    TheAlexPScoobdoobleswriterPTtkhan74jnrbtsnfindsamimForEllieSylviamwahjties
  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    I'm white, but not pretends to like kale and coconut water white.

    • 172
    • FAVS
    VodkantotsSYDRebel5haelCliffDuffyPINKlVlONSTERkliftermonDefinitiveDavidlindsaynothing
    • 74
    • RETWEETS
    VodkantotsBmittonewife3kidsnodogsJudyBooty02SherBoBerjeffaweeclarkCallmeMrBigsStupidSophia_
  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    Birth control packs are like little Advent calendars for the worst fucking holiday ever.

    • 172
    • FAVS
    billlabrieChloestylosfjdotcomVodkantotsmynameshankGrandpaJoe35haelStaciNelson
    • 71
    • RETWEETS
    NatalieRobeVodkantotsGrandpaJoe3SYDRebelGasStationSushiMLEMESHERleoniegregsHannNanaNAa
  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    "We go together like drunk and disorderly" -opening line to my future wedding vows

    • 143
    • FAVS
    chompy_jrhockeynuts5haelCliffDuffyStupidSophia_MissyBombinoCerinaChildressAbovePARservice
    • 66
    • RETWEETS
    TheAlexPburn_the_oilTheBoydPiPAY4PUSSY69bigdaddyrabbitCaseyWinehousejnrbtsnFuckinmorons
  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    You move into the "old" category when your friends start having kids on purpose.

    • 125
    • FAVS
    WhervrIMayRoammkrsticMDchompy_jrhockeynutsAllahTweetedVodkantotsfarmboy1111theevilwriter
    • 67
    • RETWEETS
    sophiemareshziddi_anarel_n3groWhervrIMayRoammkrsticMDIVabdulDadiAmmiVodkantots
  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    My mom texted me wondering what I put in my cock pot today, so I guess her and dad have been sexting.

    • 135
    • FAVS
    chompy_jrJandalize5haelCliffDuffyStupidSophia_UnfollowMilesBownuggetsleolioness0486_
    • 57
    • RETWEETS
    BownuggetsTheAlexPPmerrilyLEDwig4495Stabby_smurfA_girlygirl1979vodkachromeTmoney68
    WilliamAder
  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    Told my mom I had Five Guys for lunch and she wanted to know how long I've been having orgies.

    • 126
    • FAVS
    dawny716cohenmichael762Dustin_199BassKitty_ms1brinkerMisssLOUDiZeWkuHtechnochtitlan_
    • 53
    • RETWEETS
    BassKitty_iZeWkuHHK_Barbietechnochtitlan_RahimTRajputVodkantotsstaceyinedBlacktheNinja
  • louise_vuitton
      megan @louise_vuitton

    My milkshake brings all the doctors to the yard and they're like, you need to stop drinking so many milkshakes you're going to get diabetes.

    • 112
    • FAVS
    MudvilleOutlookdark_butter_flyDustin_199stefdhondttechnochtitlan_sfjdotcommcibtyVodkantots
    • 63
    • RETWEETS
    dawny716SydneyGrunzweigJoobieJoobsDadiAmmitechnochtitlan_RahimTRajputTheCoolGirl_Vodkantots
@louise_vuitton

@louise_vuitton
Pro

my attitude is celibate-i don't give a fuck, but i do give great tweet.