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If you crashed your car into a bridge, a funny thing to say would be, "I don't care, I love it!" between all the screaming.
Generally good things ruined by their fans: kale, marijuana, Bernie Sanders, atheism.
I believe movies and TV matter. When someone who brought so much joy into your life dies, it's normal to grieve even if you didn't know him.
Everyone is problematic. Accept people as complex humans with flaws. Call them out for it when necessary. Do not ignore the good they do.
English people, WE'LL stop thinking you're all quaint and proper as soon as YOU stop immediately cleaning up after your own riots.
Justin Bieber's penis is on the internet what a time to be alive.
This is probably going to sound really gay, but the sunset is GORGEOUS right now and I love making out with dudes.
Does anyone know a good site where I can get a rapid flow of misinformation and unconfirmed reports coming in too fast to process?
Addiction is insidious and relentless and impossible to understand until you're in the throes of it. Please have compassion.
I can't turn water into wine, but I can turn ice cream into breakfast.
God: You can ask me one question, so think caref—
Me: What happened between Julianna Margulies and Archie Panjabi?
How do we know it was John Travolta who sexually harassed the male masseuse, and not Nicolas Cage wearing Travolta's face?
"You're either going to love me or hate me." - someone you will definitely hate
Guys, fat shaming works! That's why there are no fat people.
My favorite kind of soup is ice cream.
If you can't handle me at my fattest, then you sure as hell don't deserve me if I ever lose weight. Which could happen, you don't know.
It's fucking cuddle weather, motherfuckers.
I know I don't have any talent, and I know all I have is a body, and I am doing my bust exercises. Senior Editor at BuzzFeed News. email@example.com
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