All comedians should just quit their jobs because avril lavigne marrying chad kroger is funny enough to last us at least 10 years

new drinking game: take a drink every time someone asks @shonkitchen if he's really tom's brother

@markhoppus you are already going to live forever because you are mark hoppus. duh.

#HAPPYBIRTHDAYMARKHOPPUS @markhoppus it's still the 14th here, but seriously I can't thank you enough for existing. Happy birthday.

my favorite band is gayer than your favorite band

@markhoppus Why the fuck aren't you president yet.

So I watch the @markhoppus chat and I come back to http://t.co/IEZRbhX & blink is losing. everyone must have stopped voting to watch Mark

When Your Heart Stops Beating is a fucking masterpiece. Such raw emotion. @markhoppus , you, sir, are a genius.

Mark's mom: "That's my boy. Or if you take what he says, he's the..'the shit'."
@markhoppus : "You guys don't know this but I'm the shit."

@markhoppus what is tom wearing on his head today

@markhoppus well i guess this is getting old. ooOOOOOHHOOHOOOOOHHHH THATwas a gOOD ONE OHHHH MAN

Dora does that for fun. RT @markhoppus: one time, on a dare, i ate an entire human baby. :(

@tomdelonge @markhoppus @travisbarker merry Christmas <3 http://t.co/sbtZ8pgx

just being me~ http://t.co/W53jLKsc

@markhoppus He wants your love. Tom needs you Mark and you're pushING HIM AWAY DON'T DO THIS

@markhoppus you're so much better than that, mark.

@markhoppus You should be on Loveline with your boyfriend tonight. :C

The intro of Fighting the Gravity is seriously one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. Well done @markhoppus

Who taught me to only buy Apple Shampoo? HEEZY TAUGHT ME. @markhoppus

@markhoppus is so good to his fans. :')