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Jerk chicken is just regular chicken that's scared of commitment
Don't be too fun or he'll think you want him but don't be no fun or he'll think you're a bitch basically don't leave your house
date a tall guy to ensure he always sees you from the perfect selfie angle
Do sloppy seconds taste the same as sloppy joes? Asking for a friend
Jerk chicken is just regular chicken that thinks every girl wants him
if you have to ask yourself if you should text him, the answer is yes because it's a fucking text and not a marriage proposal. Idiots.
I'm a big fan of seeing things that make me angry, which is why I use social media
Weird. I can't stop tweeting when I'm traveling for work..
Or at home.
Or on a date.
Or with my family Christmas morning.
Wanna make friends on twitter? DRINK A LOT WITH THEM.
#confusingthingsgirlsdo use avatar pics that make them look like models, when they look nothing like models.
goin' to the chapel and we're, gunna get maaaarrrr.....ginally less attractive one day so let's hang out while we're still hot and then bye
Relationship status: the only Lays I'm getting are ketchup flavoured
i can't take a compliment, but I can take the same selfie 37 times until it's perfect
Omfg I'm drunk and oh what else is new I have a problem.
Mostly bullshit, swear words and pictures of my kick ass cakes. thirty. train wreck. drinker of beer. lover of the sarcastic and witty. Instagram: loveyourcake