i dont LOOK liek the kinda gurl that wud eat ur pokemon cards while u r in the bathrrom? well mr. i am fulla surprises. nd ur pokemon cards.

*knock knock* "whO's there?" "9/11." "9/11 who???" "u said u'd NEVER FORGET :'( "

real life is just like an awesum vidoe game except everything sux nd if u defeat ur enemies it is a Crime

i'm not sayin everyOne with a beard is great, but bush doesn't hav one nd he did 9/11...........................................

damn shortty u tired? cause u been runnin through the anxiety riddled terrifying surreal hellscape that is My Mind all day!!!

11:11 make a wish!! *toe nail clippings rain from the heavens* GODDAMMIT GREG EVERY FUCKING TIME DUDE WHAT THE HELL.

i wanna paint my walls does anyone want to help? --i am a lil baby bug aNd live in a acorn though

"YO HOP OFF MY DICK" tiny beings cautiously hop off my giant dick-train at their respective stops. this is the future.

"more like Bridge to Terriblethia!!!!!!!" sir could u pls just ring me up? "more like MadaGAYscar!!!!!! more like March of the Lameguins!!!"

haha big bang theory is so funny! they're NERDS!!! and there is!! girl!!!!! she has boobs and they are nerd!s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hunny when r u gnna get a boyfreind? *pulls up twitter mentions page* MOM THIS ISS MY BOYFROIND

i sed what's coolEr than bein cool???? *crowd replies in unison* BEIN A TEEN!!!!!!!!!!!! *every1 kickflip off each other THEY ALL DIE*

RT if u wud literally do a murder to hang out with dril and go jeans shopping

LADIES- call me jesus christ because i love you all and give you something to fight about but don't actually solve any of your problems ever

Hi everyone have a nice day + remember you are awesome- you are so awesome you could drOp down + do a crab walk right now if you wanted tO

family gUy so funney! do u get it teh neigBor is addicted 2 sex!!! always horney has a catchphraSE! nd unsafe! hates condoms! Lol taht guy

*pick up puppy* puppy! pupu! puppl! pimpo! poopoo! pingo! pumpu! *cuddles* baby! beebee! bayB! babu! *pup jus want 2 sleep* sleepy! sleepu!

o(._. o) rt if u get so mad u shake ur fists liek this lil dude (o ._.)o

this 1 time i made an "unattended package" joke to a cop ;;;he wasn't amused. UhH ok wutever i was talkin abuot ur dick dude but wutever~

rage Face 2 funney!! especiallu when girl friend is therre she do a gurl thing he get so mad ha ah bacon beer nd vibeo gemes do u get it

??