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So, according to @klout I'm influential about chili, football, bacon and Heaven. Heaven seem redundant.
RT @borowitzreport Christina Aguilera: "I want everyone to know I love my country. I'm just not into ramparts." #anthemFAIL #SuperBowl
If you try to run down an old person to get to the check-out with your turkey first, you are NOT in the holiday spirit.
So... I've been home ten minutes and tweeted about bras and midgets. I <3 you guys.
That awkward moment when you drive into the building where you have a job interview.
That happened at my office this morning.
If you put the women on Celebrity Apprentice in a time capsule, the future will think we were all made of plastic and constantly surprised.
I may or may not be watching a movie with Hulk Hogan in it because I can't find my remote. #lazy
OH: "Maybe its because he's my son on Facebook" As opposed to..? Omg. I can't stop eavesdropping now.
I'm #thankful my best friend doesn't mind that I'm coming over looking like a makeover "before" picture.
Between a guy and the kids in the house I seriously believe I can’t remember how to use a television remote. #ImissTCM
It's a thing, guys!
Beer And Bacon Battered Deep Fried Doritos - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nick-chipman/beer-bacon-doritos_b_2278006.html …
Cc: @candacearm @joannepistonfan @jennyablue
Him: My grandmother had a fig tree once. Me: I don’t really like plain figs. They have to be in the form of a Newton.
HAHA!!RT @capricecrane: OMG RYAN SEACREST IS SO MAD AT YOU SACHA BARON COHEN! #Oscars
Wearing my Battle Red chucks. Go Texans! #bullsonparade #BeatTheRavens #BEATEMDOWN http://t.co/RC38oyeV
I'm probably eating french fries right now. Life is cool like that.
