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it's a miracle I woke up with my ab lines showing this morning considering everything I ate yesterday. 🍫🍩🍰🍕🍔
"yo, babe come here! you can practically taste the antioxidants in these blackberries!"
my legs are jacked. I could probably punt somebody's head off if I wanted to.
sorry not sorry
crashing Brangelina's wedding if it's the last thing I do. #brb
I want to work as a cashier at Whole Foods in L.A just so I can gawk at every famous person who comes in there. #dreamtweet
my sign language text book says "the deaf may prefer a face-to-face conversation rather than a phone call." no fucking way
not making a new year's resolution on account of not needing to change anything about myself or the way I live my life.