These are the kind of text messages I wake up to. Gotta love it. pic.twitter.com/eDC9kswN

Fuck relationships. Y'all are fucking stupid as shit.

You really can't put a price on good pussy though.

Why don't adult stores advertise on groupon. They'd make a killing I'm sure.

I can't even hate pretty girls anymore. Too many of them follow me on Twitter.

I'd marry you, if you wanted.

Mind blown. @senorfap pic.twitter.com/9BgsTeFcg2

I'M LIKE AN ERECTION DRUG. That's awesome. SEE MOM! I told you I'd be something one day.

Smoke a lot of weed but I could never forget ya.

Seven followers until five hundy. 😳

You're a hateful little spit fuck aren't you?

I really really like what you're doing.

@spliffmeister Bitches love assholes.

“@spliffmeister: Girls love it when you hug them from behind.... then shove your dick up her ass.” We really do.

#WomenCrushWednesday
Daaaaaaaaayyyummmmmm. 😍🙊❤ pic.twitter.com/LlSOgJYClg

I'd rather fuck a katana than listen to your mixtape. On the real though.

I love when I get new followers because they go through all my old shit and star fuck the shit out of me. 😎

#MentionYourFavoriteFollower Aw jeez, there are so many. ❤ @xxx_rated_jay @heroinherooo @amateurhourrr @trixierocksct @crocodeavon ❤💋

I wonder if @spliffmeister ever sleeps...

@spliffmeister interrupting the birth of Kim's kid and being like 'sorry, I'm gonna let you finish but Beyonce had the best baby of all time