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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    This woman sat right next to me when the rest of this bus is empty so I guess we'll watch porn in my phone together.

    • 1,553
    • FAVS
    StupidHumansUSAbirdysauruswghenwoodTheMartiScottcarl_baynePriyanshaMistryms73J_Illunninati
    • 820
    • RETWEETS
    themotormouthwghenwoodTskTskTonya__J_IllunninatiBarronakBumpinGemzDietSauceCaptstabbyface
    LackOfShameDevinRangeqwertyingjasonlight73Mr_goose007jeffreyvanclea1gidget_76WULFDEANJessiCanadiangreeneyedloon____claysummers
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Hi Boss? Yeah, I can't come in today because all of my clothes are uncomfortable.

    • 1,055
    • FAVS
    mis_awwfullsbrou24Casems_LotHopeElliott1TheReal_AndyMactamarahvtMuirAnniewhereami18
    • 563
    • RETWEETS
    mis_awwfullstilettogamestamarahvtAshkingtweetskaicee118Mindless4MilestoofabulashSteveSeaquist
    kevindividual__Roweboat13Gmooturkey________DivorceDad
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I wish all of you worked with me. We'd have so much fun til we all got fired.

    • 951
    • FAVS
    SarjakuvakauppavivalacrapBlarebareJinxy00ChrisScarlettesirCrumblelottalelynnprivateworld99
    • 471
    • RETWEETS
    puppyprotector6Jinxy00iamspacegirlLadyMaledictagibbetMommy_Bran_81lorna_hermineNolaChef504
    parupaajVirgoSherryPeaceInTruth1sassymcmelonsjeffreyvanclea1SquareKnightJimmerThatisAll
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Son: Will you please just try to act normal today?

    Me: You're going to have to be more specific.

    • 795
    • FAVS
    rico5013raintaltmis_awwfullMuirAnnieQuindolinTheAlexPChrisGalvin5mavisritafarrow
    • 406
    • RETWEETS
    mis_awwfullterrormomMHirscheyRHeightsFinestkaicee118QuindolinTheAlexPwhatnowkim
    4bodingMs_Laserredpawn3
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Dude! I recognize that cologne. Alcoholique?

    • 693
    • FAVS
    hazelmotes1fadingpacesArlMarianaersatz007Marsha_SaysimlkayMumtazFarrukhndiquote
    • 372
    • RETWEETS
    HybridbriiiRealWalisumthinkmstluvstrinketsbrunostongeThegoast6010DennisClementsSavageAphrodite
    rutesperanzabossy_bootz
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I wish I knew how normal feels just to gauge how far I am from it.

    • 629
    • FAVS
    TheBoydPtoofabulashlorna_hermineSelwynLeonardNolaChef504deutschheuteTerseLiltsAwesomeAnna76
    • 375
    • RETWEETS
    atieyKRHeightsFinestterrormomTheBoydPnotanymore112toofabulashNolaChef504AwesomeAnna76
    ShaneSpiralanna2ashes________
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    *tries to take bathroom selfie

    *cleans bathroom instead

    • 569
    • FAVS
    DagaDanzigkwkorpiNonnie_Lindasalli70LiquidChiqenIsNotStoneddebbietuitamaDaveK_Says
    • 286
    • RETWEETS
    Nonnie_LindaDaveK_SaysLaurelleMartinWako_ZachoantoniocomedyrainingwillowCaptstabbyfacelantenengo
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I'm pretty sure I just had what everyone calls a panic attack.

    I just call it 'life'.

    • 421
    • FAVS
    SexyToupetamarahvtlantenengoTheBoydPcerveza_y_tacosGoldenSpiralsTheAlexPTheAlexNevil
    • 192
    • RETWEETS
    tamarahvtkaicee118TheBoydPcerveza_y_tacosGoldenSpiralsTheAlexPgirlontapasAichaNus
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I don't want to try to be perfect for you. I want you to love me anyway.

    • 401
    • FAVS
    SexyToupeTheBoydPLisa_Pisa_LoveGoldenSpiralsbigcanadianoTheAlexPTheAlexNevilmavisritafarrow
    • 177
    • RETWEETS
    terrormomTheBoydPLisa_Pisa_LoveGoldenSpiralsTheAlexPTheAlexNevilgirlontapasthgrace78_grace
    JustStooJustinCase1957LeNocturnalist__
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    * applying the fuck it send philosophy to the rest of my life

    • 366
    • FAVS
    MHirscheyTheBoydPNolaChef504deutschheuteAwesomeAnna76grantgirl2004GreenCarlinaGoldenSpirals
    • 194
    • RETWEETS
    MHirscheyLevantineMentorTheBoydPJamesonN7AwesomeAnna76grantgirl2004GoldenSpiralsTheAlexP
    TheBeerGuy73JimmerThatisAllsassymcmelons
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    When is this neighbor kid going to leave so that I can stop pretending to be a normal nice mom???

    • 363
    • FAVS
    ljeffcoat78njlitigatoreaglegrrrlv_leemwikkedwitchwestThe_GetawayGirlThunderflaskbees_wingz
    • 142
    • RETWEETS
    BenjaminBubbThe_GetawayGirlThunderflaskbees_wingzhazelmotes1KpPrestonlivewire3791__PetrickSara
    PattiOShankable__
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I am the 7th child of an alcoholic father and a narcoleptic mother. Twitter was inevitable for me.

    • 388
    • FAVS
    GirliegurllfeatherlightgalsierralarseniGreenMonkHoneyLight4SwampFoxSlyRaylaRimpson9920ef6153bb444
    • 115
    • RETWEETS
    Wacky_guyiGreenMonkGoldenSpiralsTheBoydPdrewpetrougirlontapaspowerpuss_girl_a_whirl
    RogueGod
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I'm pretty sure the cable guys outside saw me completely naked through the window.

    Or at least that's what I'm hoping anyway.

    • 346
    • FAVS
    CortezGeovannyGoldenSpiralsOldAg72TheBoydPTheAlexNevilmavisritafarrowsgtblueeyesdrewpetrou
    • 127
    • RETWEETS
    GoldenSpiralsTheBoydPemonation66drewpetrougirlontapasMentalMisterninjalou12lauradru62__
    moreofffme
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    The bad thing about mornings is all the light.

    • 270
    • FAVS
    StphnieMriejumpdasharkMilla_JacobsGoldenSpiralsMisslucyLeeDaleIncTheBoydPlibrarianfonz
    • 145
    • RETWEETS
    Milla_JacobsGoldenSpiralsDaleIncTheBoydPlibrarianfonzemonation66girlontapascrissywhetstone
    jeffreyvanclea1
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Went to a party. Had one glass of wine. Discussed price index formulas. Drove the host's mother home.

    Parties in my 40s suck.

    • 331
    • FAVS
    emilybeldenmanitobamichaelGoldenSpiralsMisslucyLeeCaptstabbyfaceTheBoydPmavisritafarrowdrewpetrou
    • 83
    • RETWEETS
    GoldenSpiralsrainingwillowTheBoydPdrewpetrougirlontapasgirl_a_whirlTXFunGuy6dPiratePrincess
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Throwing a tampon at a male coworker's face IS considered sexual harassment. FYI.

    • 295
    • FAVS
    roxaroodwJasmin_TattstreadmilldTheBoydPmavisritafarrownchiuraz286emonation66BrownBoxers
    • 114
    • RETWEETS
    roxaroodwBonJovi32Jasmin_TattstreadmilldBavoMamiTheBoydPidunowhoemonation66
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    My addiction counselor said I have to be off twitter for 30 days before it can be called recovery. I made it 9!

    • 316
    • FAVS
    AndreaC24224HourBitchingGoldenSpiralspre_mixTheBoydPmavisritafarrowDrmhausLifeemonation66
    • 93
    • RETWEETS
    Some_girl89GoldenSpiralsTheBoydPemonation66girlontapasgirl_a_whirldPiratePrincessenvydatropic
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    My son asked me if I could spend the next hour in my bedroom while he and his friend hang out and watch football.

    *sent from my bedroom*

    • 300
    • FAVS
    raiderdog619920ef6153bb444GoldenSpiralsJarrrinTheBoydPmavisritafarrowBigRobNelsongirlontapas
    • 81
    • RETWEETS
    SavoirFailGoldenSpiralsterrormomJarrrinTheBoydPemonation66girlontapasTXFunGuy6
    peterjames48
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    A paper shredder but for feelings.

    • 219
    • FAVS
    SavoirFailAzmat407LoriLoreeUpLateWithKateMilla_JacobsJperalPeraltaGoldenSpiralsMisslucyLee
    • 143
    • RETWEETS
    Azmat407LoriLoreebeing_420monty5850Milla_JacobsSome_girl89aliya_arshadCandelariag4141
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    OMG. The voices in my head are gone! --me the morning after I killed my old twitter account.

    • 231
    • FAVS
    GoldenSpiralsDonnaPszoniakdocjenDCTheBoydPmavisritafarrowemonation66TheAngryMailGuygirlontapas
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    GoldenSpiralsDonnaPszoniakTheBoydPemonation66girlontapasdPiratePrincessenvydatropicLuvsOralFun
    madrigrober
@maddyalou

@maddyalou

Coffee, wine, repeat. 48 yo. Maddyalou on IG.

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