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  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    This woman sat right next to me when the rest of this bus is empty so I guess we'll watch porn in my phone together.

    • 1,279
    • FAVS
    Pee_And_GigglesTransgirl_JennMaverickGamesLouise03909845kriistol1RohitKohli236TeamTrillaaaVanlynlaw
    • 666
    • RETWEETS
    AdmiralSarcasmkriistol1DoreenwairaSexySpainNightsRohitKohli236VanlynlawSiyandaMcanyan1Scabberstheratt
    LackOfShameDevinRangeqwertyingjasonlight73Mr_goose007jeffreyvanclea1gidget_76WULFDEANJessiCanadiangreeneyedloon____claysummers
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Hi Boss? Yeah, I can't come in today because all of my clothes are uncomfortable.

    • 793
    • FAVS
    Pee_And_Gigglesvmeredith1997APANCHALYPSENOWRohitKohli236VanlynlawTorriableCurly_gurl135LollyFii
    • 406
    • RETWEETS
    RohitKohli236FrickingVBlogCurly_gurl135LollyFiiAHouse21Halbeerzashhhbrookehomezonequeen
    Roweboat13Gmooturkey________DivorceDad
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I wish all of you worked with me. We'd have so much fun til we all got fired.

    • 797
    • FAVS
    APANCHALYPSENOWRohitKohli236Vanlynlawbombykol2emery_kayeAxenbaneBrianIncognitoTorriable
    • 376
    • RETWEETS
    RohitKohli236VanlynlawclittycatzTheRealRHBCurly_gurl135LollyFiiAHouse21Halbeerz
    parupaajVirgoSherryPeaceInTruth1SassyMcMelonsjeffreyvanclea1SquareKnightJimmerThatisAll
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Son: Will you please just try to act normal today?

    Me: You're going to have to be more specific.

    • 625
    • FAVS
    Pee_And_Gigglesmooshkabean69VanlynlawEddieMcSugarnutBrianIncognitoJaimeFaithpoziomka6989Curly_gurl135
    • 313
    • RETWEETS
    Hold_Out_4_UVanlynlawdrayzzepoziomka6989Curly_gurl135HalbeerzAnnexaRavenwoodTonyCouoh16
    4bodingMs_Laserredpawn3
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I wish I knew how normal feels just to gauge how far I am from it.

    • 532
    • FAVS
    Pee_And_GigglesCurly_gurl135BadaBingeStexcyHalbeerznaughty_dirty_PrettyPetite_xoJohnny23mac
    • 307
    • RETWEETS
    Pee_And_GigglesCurly_gurl135BadaBingeHalbeerznaughty_dirty_Johnny23macairbornestylusgregg_marcy
    anna2ashes________
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Dude! I recognize that cologne. Alcoholique?

    • 523
    • FAVS
    Pee_And_Giggleshollywood_95_69RohitKohli236LollyFiican_vegBadaBingeStexcyHalbeerz
    • 284
    • RETWEETS
    RohitKohli236Curly_gurl135LollyFiidewars_waterBadaBingeHalbeerzJohnBechardnaughty_dirty_
    rutesperanzabossy_bootz
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    *tries to take bathroom selfie

    *cleans bathroom instead

    • 369
    • FAVS
    silent_musingsPee_And_GigglesChloestylorickelverumRohitKohli236TheRealRHBemery_kayeBrianIncognito
    • 167
    • RETWEETS
    Chandre_PetersRohitKohli236BadaBingeHalbeerzbeatupmartinRican_Xtinanaughty_dirty_kcmoore51
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I don't want to try to be perfect for you. I want you to love me anyway.

    • 340
    • FAVS
    Pee_And_GigglesCurly_gurl135BadaBingeHalbeerzklg1975greg_veenaughty_dirty_kcmoore51
    • 149
    • RETWEETS
    Curly_gurl135greg_veenaughty_dirty_kcmoore51ednotsowisetealbluejaytender_gameFuzzy_Karmakazi
    JustStooJustinCase1957LeNocturnalist
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I'm pretty sure I just had what everyone calls a panic attack.

    I just call it 'life'.

    • 327
    • FAVS
    Pee_And_GigglesCurly_gurl135HalbeerzStabby_smurfAmbaliscioudbetowmxgreg_veeThePrime714
    • 137
    • RETWEETS
    Curly_gurl135betowmxgreg_veekcmoore51ednotsowiseStoned_HusbandSureshMKotharicambuslad
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    * applying the fuck it send philosophy to the rest of my life

    • 293
    • FAVS
    Pee_And_Gigglesficklenutsbobw1oCurly_gurl135ryder_elisebklynmike3SirrruhAxenbane
    • 147
    • RETWEETS
    Oblahdee_bobw1oCurly_gurl135Aybak223AxenbanefatoomsaychesseJohnBechardgreg_vee
    TheBeerGuy73JimmerThatisAllSassyMcMelons
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I am the 7th child of an alcoholic father and a narcoleptic mother. Twitter was inevitable for me.

    • 311
    • FAVS
    LackOfShamePee_And_GigglesCurly_gurl135ThePrime714kcmoore51jannable9tender_gameFuzzy_Karmakazi
    • 82
    • RETWEETS
    LackOfShameCurly_gurl135naughty_dirty_kcmoore51Fuzzy_KarmakaziarmyantstudiosAnAverageGianttsm560
    RogueGod
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I'm pretty sure the cable guys outside saw me completely naked through the window.

    Or at least that's what I'm hoping anyway.

    • 279
    • FAVS
    Pee_And_GigglesCurly_gurl135TemptressOfDarkThePrime714CanadianPitbullkcmoore51jannable9tender_game
    • 96
    • RETWEETS
    Curly_gurl135naughty_dirty_CanadianPitbullkcmoore51OhgoddessitsmecydnizoiFuzzy_Karmakazifriend_jen73
    moreofffme
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    When is this neighbor kid going to leave so that I can stop pretending to be a normal nice mom???

    • 267
    • FAVS
    Pee_And_GigglesCurly_gurl135ThePrime714kcmoore51mprice1006adult_keverageChris668Chrisredhotmomma99
    • 96
    • RETWEETS
    Curly_gurl135naughty_dirty_kcmoore51adult_keverageredhotmomma99Vallygurl22darrrkstarrrMomtoteens
    PattiOShankable__
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    My addiction counselor said I have to be off twitter for 30 days before it can be called recovery. I made it 9!

    • 274
    • FAVS
    Curly_gurl135daniellagoldsmGSHOK9420blankmanLackOfShameTemptressOfDarkThePrime714kcmoore51
    • 78
    • RETWEETS
    Curly_gurl135LackOfShamenaughty_dirty_kcmoore51Fuzzy_Karmakazitsm560parupaajjmann8181__
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Went to a party. Had one glass of wine. Discussed price index formulas. Drove the host's mother home.

    Parties in my 40s suck.

    • 258
    • FAVS
    CarlDietrichmadbritian1969gibbetQuartetApeJlofarsaysovereaseetittyboombaSoffWilliams
    • 56
    • RETWEETS
    SexySpainNightsFavstar250RohitKohli236Recluse_ShhCurly_gurl135kcmoore51UnsweetenedTeatsm560
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    The bad thing about mornings is all the light.

    • 202
    • FAVS
    Pee_And_GigglesCurly_gurl135ThePrime714kcmoore51Vallygurl22Fuzzy_KarmakaziSincerelyAmusedtsm560
    • 102
    • RETWEETS
    Curly_gurl135kcmoore51Fuzzy_Karmakazitsm560Triz_1TlaxBoy05hoops_Daddyfrecklesxlace
    jeffreyvanclea1
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Throwing a tampon at a male coworker's face IS considered sexual harassment. FYI.

    • 228
    • FAVS
    Pee_And_GigglesFrickingVBlogCurly_gurl135agurlnamedjenCanadianPitbullThePrime714kcmoore51VanessaLaVue
    • 76
    • RETWEETS
    Curly_gurl135CanadianPitbullkcmoore51VanessaLaVueHalbeerzFuzzy_Karmakazijulygirl719SincerelyAmused
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    My son asked me if I could spend the next hour in my bedroom while he and his friend hang out and watch football.

    *sent from my bedroom*

    • 242
    • FAVS
    Pee_And_GigglesCurly_gurl135InsulinAddict12momupsidedownkcmoore51Fuzzy_KarmakaziSincerelyAmusedAnAverageGiant
    • 58
    • RETWEETS
    Curly_gurl135momupsidedownkcmoore51Fuzzy_Karmakazitsm560TlaxBoy05jmann8181__SassyTexasGal
    peterjames48
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    OMG. The voices in my head are gone! --me the morning after I killed my old twitter account.

    • 202
    • FAVS
    TlaxBoy05Curly_gurl135kcmoore51Fuzzy_KarmakaziSincerelyAmusedboobsareimpliedTheBeerGuy73TangyToast
    • 54
    • RETWEETS
    TlaxBoy05Curly_gurl135kcmoore51Fuzzy_KarmakaziSisyphus_13______Neuronicismlazydoxyjeffreyvanclea1
    madrigrober
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    A paper shredder but for feelings.

    • 138
    • FAVS
    Pee_And_GigglesTlaxBoy05lacrossemom5Curly_gurl135sharellejusticeMichelle_9693kcmoore51Dr_C2006
    • 90
    • RETWEETS
    TlaxBoy05Curly_gurl135Michelle_9693kcmoore51Vallygurl22Nishparikh4Fuzzy_KarmakaziRichHarris2
@maddyalou

@maddyalou

Coffee, wine, repeat. 48 yo. Maddyalou on IG.