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  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    This woman sat right next to me when the rest of this bus is empty so I guess we'll watch porn in my phone together.

    • 1,439
    • FAVS
    HollyMarieCecilraakodangiVirgoFashion_McChucklenutsQueenSlothMind_fukkkDuncanGkv8
    • 754
    • RETWEETS
    diyer4life32Mind_fukkTwirlUrFaceOffdibsonyourstuffKristinAndreneenvydatropicADavidGambleroxaroodw
    LackOfShameDevinRangeqwertyingjasonlight73Mr_goose007jeffreyvanclea1gidget_76WULFDEANJessiCanadiangreeneyedloon____claysummers
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Hi Boss? Yeah, I can't come in today because all of my clothes are uncomfortable.

    • 909
    • FAVS
    GodBlessAchoosupnuggetKentWGrahamraakodangiVirgoFashion_K__renMcChucklenutsSoGoFu
    • 486
    • RETWEETS
    KentWGrahamK__renSoGoFuMind_fukkmarieb222Zora_d_1991NatFoosejaveleena
    kevindividual__Roweboat13Gmooturkey________DivorceDad
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I wish all of you worked with me. We'd have so much fun til we all got fired.

    • 882
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamraakodangiMcChucklenutsMind_fukkkv8Fredzipfelnezrordibsonyourstuff
    • 427
    • RETWEETS
    KentWGrahamMind_fukknezrorTwirlUrFaceOffdibsonyourstuffstefanodibiagi0imgoodbackupclivetalks
    parupaajVirgoSherryPeaceInTruth1sassymcmelonsjeffreyvanclea1SquareKnightJimmerThatisAll
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Son: Will you please just try to act normal today?

    Me: You're going to have to be more specific.

    • 703
    • FAVS
    multipervKentWGrahamMcChucklenutsMind_fukkkv8baciivenvydatropicLin_Baker
    • 350
    • RETWEETS
    KentWGrahamMind_fukkenvydatropicUncleBob56Phoenix_DustBonJovi32scorpicpandaAsHIsssH_M
    4bodingMs_Laserredpawn3
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Dude! I recognize that cologne. Alcoholique?

    • 602
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamkv8JUSTLisandraenvydatropicInkyForukerrinoneillcrazykitty331YerMomsFavorite
    • 321
    • RETWEETS
    envydatropicNikxitownDarlainkyBonJovi32Phoenix_DustneveranendUncleBob56AJslackie
    rutesperanzabossy_bootz
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I wish I knew how normal feels just to gauge how far I am from it.

    • 583
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamMcChucklenutsMind_fukkkv8JUSTLisandrabaciivenvydatropicmil_h0use
    • 339
    • RETWEETS
    Mind_fukkThe0phaniaRealSirBatmanenvydatropicPhoenix_Dusthogrider05ShaneSpiralchrismerrill
    ShaneSpiralanna2ashes________
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    *tries to take bathroom selfie

    *cleans bathroom instead

    • 469
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamVirgoFashion_Swishuh_Sweetlucy_nyholm123McChucklenutsMind_fukkkv8JUSTLisandra
    • 215
    • RETWEETS
    VirgoFashion_Mind_fukkIgotHeartpkrfanpaulaenvydatropic_maadisoonmirandagossStay_Trippy_Yo
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I'm pretty sure I just had what everyone calls a panic attack.

    I just call it 'life'.

    • 378
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamMcChucklenutsMind_fukkkv8The0phaniaraininmyhandsenvydatropicmil_h0use
    • 165
    • RETWEETS
    KentWGrahamMind_fukkThe0phaniaenvydatropicxenab_memonDigitalDropzimhhkTheCrumbDiary
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I don't want to try to be perfect for you. I want you to love me anyway.

    • 377
    • FAVS
    Scottyd309McChucklenutsMind_fukkkv8samscramenvydatropicmil_h0usea_olivia4212
    • 163
    • RETWEETS
    WickedPoseidonMind_fukkLadyMehmaladeenvydatropicDigitalDropzimhhk34bearcatMiss_Kris85
    JustStooJustinCase1957LeNocturnalist
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    * applying the fuck it send philosophy to the rest of my life

    • 334
    • FAVS
    SaljSalSexy_Polar_BearMcChucklenutsonelucky15lucy_nyholm123Mind_fukkregularguy911YogaButterfly_
    • 172
    • RETWEETS
    ChicanaCrazySexy_Polar_Bearonelucky15Mind_fukkregularguy911YogaButterfly_kv8RealSirBatman
    TheBeerGuy73JimmerThatisAllsassymcmelons
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I am the 7th child of an alcoholic father and a narcoleptic mother. Twitter was inevitable for me.

    • 355
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamNeon_DragonBloodshot_InkVirgoFashion_FRANKSTALICIOUSMcChucklenutsMind_fukkkv8
    • 103
    • RETWEETS
    Neon_Dragondiyer4life32DownFrontArtistMind_fukkSumbodyShootMeenvydatropickevindividual__TheCrumbDiary
    RogueGod
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I'm pretty sure the cable guys outside saw me completely naked through the window.

    Or at least that's what I'm hoping anyway.

    • 326
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamSexy_Polar_BearScottyd309McChucklenutssenorlumpyMind_fukkDSinclair88ShitNoSherlock
    • 117
    • RETWEETS
    Scottyd309_asshair_Mind_fukkenvydatropicADavidGambleDigitalDropzimhhkArmymatt22
    moreofffme
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    When is this neighbor kid going to leave so that I can stop pretending to be a normal nice mom???

    • 321
    • FAVS
    bitch_o_maticmultipervA_Brick_ShortKentWGrahamMcChucklenutsMind_fukkbaciivbonniejeannetx
    • 121
    • RETWEETS
    sawrackiA_Brick_ShortKentWGrahamMind_fukkbonniejeannetxManicmommy70envydatropichirojesus
    PattiOShankable__
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    My addiction counselor said I have to be off twitter for 30 days before it can be called recovery. I made it 9!

    • 295
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    baciivScottyd309lilmissquienvydatropicmil_h0usekevindividual__curlymalloyLuvsOralFun
    • 86
    • RETWEETS
    envydatropicLuvsOralFunLiilMinx5oulhealersfc1953MrLonsterRobotfusedudedarrrkstarrr
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Went to a party. Had one glass of wine. Discussed price index formulas. Drove the host's mother home.

    Parties in my 40s suck.

    • 302
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    KentWGrahamDadAfterDarkScottyd309McChucklenutsAlphaMalePrblmsMind_fukkSaheed3170envydatropic
    • 74
    • RETWEETS
    Mind_fukkSaheed3170envydatropicBeardOfSulucalliope4112kevindividual__favstar_historyMiss_Kris85
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Throwing a tampon at a male coworker's face IS considered sexual harassment. FYI.

    • 268
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    McChucklenutsVirgoFashion_Jd612JMind_fukkCecilliiaaThe0phaniaDieErVonSatanGrumpyBahr
    • 98
    • RETWEETS
    diyer4life32lovestained555Mind_fukkravingrantChuckyLM1976The0phaniaGrumpyBahrenvydatropic
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    The bad thing about mornings is all the light.

    • 236
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    KentWGrahamGrumpyBahrenvydatropicADavidGamblemil_h0use34bearcatcurlymalloycheeky_dre
    • 125
    • RETWEETS
    dheemazThe0phaniaGrumpyBahrenvydatropicADavidGamble34bearcatShettyONTHErunSVD910
    jeffreyvanclea1
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    My son asked me if I could spend the next hour in my bedroom while he and his friend hang out and watch football.

    *sent from my bedroom*

    • 279
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamgallina_fiedlerJodyReimerMcChucklenutslostandalone131Mind_fukkvioletfemme89envydatropic
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    Mind_fukkenvydatropicLin_BakerUncleBob56Miss_Kris85LuvsOralFun5oulhealerMrLonsterRobot
    peterjames48
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    A paper shredder but for feelings.

    • 185
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    KentWGrahamMcChucklenutsMind_fukkapril_ames_josiespeaksSpiritofDustjoannapantagesGrumpyBahr
    • 118
    • RETWEETS
    KentWGrahamMind_fukkSpiritofDustlu_huesoLeadOurShipenvydatropicjenniferjarvis234bearcat
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    OMG. The voices in my head are gone! --me the morning after I killed my old twitter account.

    • 218
    • FAVS
    jcc1223GrumpyBahrShitNoSherlockenvydatropicmil_h0useMiss_Kris85LuvsOralFunFamilyRamblings
    • 59
    • RETWEETS
    envydatropicLuvsOralFun5oulhealerMrLonsterRobotfusedudeTlaxBoy05Curly_gurl135kcmoore51
    madrigrober
@maddyalou

@maddyalou

Coffee, wine, repeat. 48 yo. Maddyalou on IG.

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