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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    This woman sat right next to me when the rest of this bus is empty so I guess we'll watch porn in my phone together.

    • 1,543
    • FAVS
    CaptstabbyfaceTVOLL10Qwer333wingate1965betowmxFrfghtrMGoldenSpiralsQuindolin
    • 814
    • RETWEETS
    DietSauceCaptstabbyfacebetowmxGoldenSpiralsQuindolinTheAlexPpatheticgirl22emonation66
    LackOfShameDevinRangeqwertyingjasonlight73Mr_goose007jeffreyvanclea1gidget_76WULFDEANJessiCanadiangreeneyedloon____claysummers
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Hi Boss? Yeah, I can't come in today because all of my clothes are uncomfortable.

    • 1,053
    • FAVS
    Casems_LotHopeElliott1TheReal_AndyMactamarahvtMuirAnniewhereami18Mindless4Milesatlscgrad
    • 562
    • RETWEETS
    stilettogamestamarahvtAshkingtweetskaicee118Mindless4MilestoofabulashSteveSeaquistUncutDREWlery
    kevindividual__Roweboat13Gmooturkey________DivorceDad
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I wish all of you worked with me. We'd have so much fun til we all got fired.

    • 951
    • FAVS
    SarjakuvakauppavivalacrapBlarebareJinxy00ChrisScarlettesirCrumblelottalelynnprivateworld99
    • 471
    • RETWEETS
    puppyprotector6Jinxy00iamspacegirlLadyMaledictagibbetMommy_Bran_81lorna_hermineNolaChef504
    parupaajVirgoSherryPeaceInTruth1sassymcmelons__jeffreyvanclea1SquareKnightJimmerThatisAll
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Son: Will you please just try to act normal today?

    Me: You're going to have to be more specific.

    • 792
    • FAVS
    MuirAnnieQuindolinTheAlexPChrisGalvin5mavisritafarrowgirlontapaskikdbakbitchrawkstaah
    • 405
    • RETWEETS
    terrormomMHirscheyRHeightsFinestkaicee118QuindolinTheAlexPpatheticgirl22P_dabholkar
    4bodingMs_Laserredpawn3
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Dude! I recognize that cologne. Alcoholique?

    • 665
    • FAVS
    doyouevenlisp_BabyVampirosBoogiePimp_1980FrizerkaSandraJ4YR4Wlorna_herminenotbharmscranky_unfun_1
    • 360
    • RETWEETS
    BabyVampirosFrizerkaSandraJ4YR4WTheBoydPbradgearonGoldenSpiralsfelicia_levernTheAlexP
    rutesperanzabossy_bootz
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I wish I knew how normal feels just to gauge how far I am from it.

    • 629
    • FAVS
    TheBoydPtoofabulashlorna_hermineSelwynLeonardNolaChef504deutschheuteTerseLiltsAwesomeAnna76
    • 375
    • RETWEETS
    atieyKRHeightsFinestterrormomTheBoydPnotanymore112toofabulashNolaChef504AwesomeAnna76
    ShaneSpiralanna2ashes________
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    *tries to take bathroom selfie

    *cleans bathroom instead

    • 569
    • FAVS
    DagaDanzigkwkorpiNonnie_Lindasalli70LiquidChiqenIsNotStonedDebbieTuitamaDaveK_Says
    • 286
    • RETWEETS
    Nonnie_LindaDaveK_SaysLaurelleMartinWako_ZachoantoniocomedyrainingwillowCaptstabbyfacelantenengo
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I'm pretty sure I just had what everyone calls a panic attack.

    I just call it 'life'.

    • 421
    • FAVS
    SexyToupetamarahvtlantenengoTheBoydPcerveza_y_tacosGoldenSpiralsTheAlexPTheAlexNevil
    • 192
    • RETWEETS
    tamarahvtkaicee118TheBoydPcerveza_y_tacosGoldenSpiralsTheAlexPgirlontapasAichaNus
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I don't want to try to be perfect for you. I want you to love me anyway.

    • 401
    • FAVS
    SexyToupeTheBoydPLisa_Pisa_LoveGoldenSpiralsbigcanadianoTheAlexPTheAlexNevilmavisritafarrow
    • 177
    • RETWEETS
    terrormomTheBoydPLisa_Pisa_LoveGoldenSpiralsTheAlexPTheAlexNevilgirlontapasthgrace78_grace
    JustStooJustinCase1957LeNocturnalist__
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    * applying the fuck it send philosophy to the rest of my life

    • 366
    • FAVS
    MHirscheyTheBoydPNolaChef504deutschheuteAwesomeAnna76grantgirl2004GreenCarlinaGoldenSpirals
    • 194
    • RETWEETS
    MHirscheyTheBestGrunkleTheBoydPJamesonN7AwesomeAnna76grantgirl2004GoldenSpiralsTheAlexP
    TheBeerGuy73JimmerThatisAllsassymcmelons__
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I am the 7th child of an alcoholic father and a narcoleptic mother. Twitter was inevitable for me.

    • 379
    • FAVS
    TheBoydPTheAlexNevilmavisritafarrowBethanyImmoordrewpetrougirlontapasjumpdasharkProudPapaDuffy
    • 112
    • RETWEETS
    TheBoydPdrewpetrougirlontapaspowerpuss_girl_a_whirldPiratePrincessSlave_4_Udeepakrai916
    RogueGod
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    When is this neighbor kid going to leave so that I can stop pretending to be a normal nice mom???

    • 345
    • FAVS
    MikeMcNeil_LemmingDadpuddleychefTWalkmamasmindTheBoydPLoNeavesTheAlexNevil
    • 132
    • RETWEETS
    LemmingDadmamasmindTheBoydPTheAlexNevilgirlontapaslauradru62__girl_a_whirldPiratePrincess
    PattiOShankable__
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    I'm pretty sure the cable guys outside saw me completely naked through the window.

    Or at least that's what I'm hoping anyway.

    • 344
    • FAVS
    OldAg72TheBoydPTheAlexNevilmavisritafarrowsgtblueeyesdrewpetrougirlontapasjumpdashark
    • 126
    • RETWEETS
    TheBoydPemonation66drewpetrougirlontapasMentalMisterninjalou12lauradru62__dPiratePrincess
    moreofffme
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Went to a party. Had one glass of wine. Discussed price index formulas. Drove the host's mother home.

    Parties in my 40s suck.

    • 328
    • FAVS
    MisslucyLeeCaptstabbyfaceTheBoydPmavisritafarrowdrewpetrougirlontapasjumpdasharklauradru62__
    • 82
    • RETWEETS
    rainingwillowTheBoydPdrewpetrougirlontapasgirl_a_whirlTXFunGuy6dPiratePrincessGavsonNZ
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    The bad thing about mornings is all the light.

    • 266
    • FAVS
    MisslucyLeeDaleIncTheBoydPlibrarianfonzmavisritafarrowemonation66girlontapaslauradru62__
    • 143
    • RETWEETS
    DaleIncTheBoydPlibrarianfonzemonation66girlontapascrissywhetstonegirl_a_whirltx_tine
    jeffreyvanclea1
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    Throwing a tampon at a male coworker's face IS considered sexual harassment. FYI.

    • 295
    • FAVS
    roxaroodwJasmin_TattstreadmilldTheBoydPmavisritafarrownchiuraz286emonation66BrownBoxers
    • 114
    • RETWEETS
    roxaroodwBonJovi32Jasmin_TattstreadmilldBavoMamiTheBoydPidunowhoemonation66
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    My addiction counselor said I have to be off twitter for 30 days before it can be called recovery. I made it 9!

    • 313
    • FAVS
    pre_mixTheBoydPmavisritafarrowDrmhausLifeemonation66JanisZepalynngirlontapasjumpdashark
    • 91
    • RETWEETS
    TheBoydPemonation66girlontapasgirl_a_whirldPiratePrincessenvydatropicLuvsOralFunLiilMinx
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    My son asked me if I could spend the next hour in my bedroom while he and his friend hang out and watch football.

    *sent from my bedroom*

    • 297
    • FAVS
    JarrrinTheBoydPmavisritafarrowBigRobNelsongirlontapasjumpdasharkProudPapaDuffyPressOneForNo
    • 79
    • RETWEETS
    terrormomJarrrinTheBoydPemonation66girlontapasTXFunGuy6dPiratePrincessMind_fukk
    peterjames48
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    A paper shredder but for feelings.

    • 212
    • FAVS
    MisslucyLeepre_mixDaleIncabs_tellthetaleTheBoydPmavisritafarrowtessafirelackluster30
    • 134
    • RETWEETS
    JusCallMeDNiceDaleIncabs_tellthetaleTheBoydPtessafirelackluster30emonation66BrownBoxers
  • maddyalou
      Madeleine @maddyalou

    OMG. The voices in my head are gone! --me the morning after I killed my old twitter account.

    • 230
    • FAVS
    DonnaPszoniakdocjenDCTheBoydPmavisritafarrowemonation66TheAngryMailGuygirlontapasjumpdashark
    • 64
    • RETWEETS
    DonnaPszoniakTheBoydPemonation66girlontapasdPiratePrincessenvydatropicLuvsOralFun5oulhealer
    madrigrober
@maddyalou

@maddyalou

Coffee, wine, repeat. 48 yo. Maddyalou on IG.

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