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An un-Happy Father's Day to those punks who have 5 baby mamas & don't take care of their obligation. Assholes.
At the supermarket. Knowing what I know now, I still blush at the checkout counter when the cashier rings up my cucumbers.
If you throw attitude at a black girl, you better run like you just stole somethin' from Jesus.
I just sneezed and it strained my neck. God help me if I fart...I may throw my back out again.
Dear 5:30pm, Would you please hurry the heck up and help a bitch out?
Small earthquake in Chicago? Oprah must have dropped one of her diamond earrings.
Tomorrow, I'm gonna seize the day; and then bitch-slap it into reality!
You know it’s time to replace the bottle of eye drops when you squeeze the bottle and dust squirts in your eye.
The weather has kept everyone out of the office except me. Nice! (Then in walks gossip girl. It's gonna be a looooooong day)
I just sneezed and damn near blew my veneers off! HAA!!!
I'm setting up all the Halloween decor while listening to Xmas music. The SEASON is ON!! (now where's that dang turkey centerpiece, too?)
Guess I shouldn't mention that I'm sitting on a porcelain seat in a room that has great reverb.
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance....(just ask Kanye West)
"Oral Roberts". I mean, the name says it all.
I'm awake now. Caffeine. Cucumbers on eyes and Enya (Enema) playing throughout the house. (Should be a bowel movement any minute now.)
Does the pharmaceutical industry know any other letters besides Z, X, Y or R?
Look... Madonna. I've politely asked you to please not tweet me from your walk-in panty crisper. People are starting to talk!
So much talk about the Obama family fashions. I saw a headline "Obama's flip-flops are showing" & thought it was referring to his shoes."
Sundays are for watching Food Network and eating Chef Boyardee microwave ravioli.
Conversation with colleague about how ‘casual Friday’s are getting out of hand: She said, “I coulda wore my boom-boom shorts.” *LMAO*