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If a guy starts talking to me about how much money he has I just assume he's trying to compensate for a penis the size of a cheeto
Straight up told a some dude tonight that I was gonna puke in his shirt pocket if he kept talking
Don't think I'll ever understand the notion that it's romantic to have to work to make a person love you
I'm going to pretend you're not wearing a snapback that says DOPE on it solely because I'm starting to get ashamed for you
I will probably fall in love with a boy with dreads this summer
Sometimes I get frustrated with myself for never updating my iTunes but then I remember I only use my iPhone to listen to Zeppelin anyways
Dry shampoo because if I havent showered in two days I'm sure as hell not doing it on a Monday
I just wanna smoke a joint and sleep until tomorrow
Being able to walk to a sandy beach (where it is actually safe to swim) in 15 minutes has definitely changed my life for the better🌞
"So Maggie, you haven't found the love of your life yet eh?" Grandma ur delusional I met Oreos at a young age
I think it's great that you dance naked to Jamaican music
I can hardly speak English and struggle to reduce simple fractions how did I get into university
s/o to Chinese food for always being there for me when I'm hungover
Valley girls givin blow jobs for Louboutins whatchu call dat? Head ova heels
I fink u freeky and I like u a lot
NOT TODAY FUCKBOI
A ups delivery man just pulled over to ask for my number I fucking shit you not
Update: I have abandoned the tea cup and am just drinking out of the bottle
I could be laying next to anyone but I'm still thinkin' 'bout you
It's probably just a food baby. Did you have a big lunch?
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