Ok. Enough with politics. Let's fuck.

Twitter has now made me an egg. Perfect. I'm Humpty fucking Dumpty.

It's a fucking star. Not an Oscar. Get over yourself.

Found an old picture of my dad smiling. Obviously waaaay before I was born.

Haha! My coworker just read 'The Secret'. Sweet goats cheese. The secret is you will get ahead in life by finishing your effin work on time.

My bf & I have a sick yet workable relationship. I don't actually call him my 'boyfriend' and he doesn't actually get laid.

Breaking news: we are all 'Love Children'

@samgrittner ~ Juan is the lonliest hombre.

All you people with kids. DO NOT let them grow up like you-cuz you are serious fucks. Let 'em grow up to be cowboys & such.

Girls just want to have fun. Women want fun & sex. Fun & sex. Oh-and money~and this chair (& maybe this ring) That's all we need. Oh and...

Remember when Wisconsin was united in joy because the Packers won the Superbowl in 2011? Thanks Scott Walker. No one will remember that now.

Sometimes I just star shit because I like the shape.

I'm not making any resolutions. Instead, I made this really cool toboggan. It's faster than that stupid little basket I was riding into hell

I'm sorry. The color purple will not appear at this intersection. The magic color is GREEN so move your ass when you see that color. kthx.

'Smart phone' has taken over. It drank my bottle of wine & is now using random profanity. I Fuck shit piss motherfucker am sorry.

I just want to have sex. With someone really nice. Any takers?

Dear Favre Family: Thank you for the entertainment & for taking our minds off of Sarah Palin.

BF just asked me to make breakfast.How many times does he have to be rejected before he realizes he's going to have to pay a whore for that?

Drama. Boredome's ugly twin.

Who the fuck RT's "Fuck America"? Fuck you! Americans bake their asses off to have a buck or 2 to help ANYFUCKINGONE! We fucking love you!