The deepest Black Friday discount I've seen so far is half off human dignity

Everybody relax, the best image on the internet has been found http://t.co/Fy0AZyoM

FACT: Senator Organa voted AGAINST Palpatine's "Death Star" project, which would have created MILLIONS of jobs.

The 12 Crazy But True Secrets to Artistic Financial Success. Must-read http://tinyurl.com/3nut8d8

Introducing "Machine of Death: The Game of Creative Assassination" !!!  http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1234131468/machine-of-death-the-game-of-creative-assassinatio …

Webcomics artists are just t-shirt salesmen devaluing the holy art of comic strips pic.twitter.com/sLUnVcuY

Ideas are free. Ideas are cheap. Nobody ever suffered from a lack of ideas. Work is what matters. Ideas are recipes, not meals.

BREAKING: Ron Paul tricked into saying own name backwards; disappears

My laptop's logic board is shot! That explains its new, unshakable belief that corporations will reinvest tax cuts into job creation

So first I stamped some envelopes "PLEASE BEND" : http://tumblr.com/xn91jnxfus - And now here is the result! http://tumblr.com/xn91syutoj

I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to shut your mouth and show some basic decency once in a while.

A bully made me mad so I folded his pizza in half but he just smirked and said "thanks for the calzone"

I only watch the game for the commercials! I only watch commercials! Everything I see is a commercial because I live in America in 2013!

Han Solo, Strong Female Character pic.twitter.com/8dv8HxAAch

What's green and floats in the swamp and has a hundred teeth? The Tooth Fairy. She...she don't look too good. Someone should check on her

Twitter account @tsarnaev is someone in Florida asking for donations "to go to the Boston victims." Join me in flagging this as spam

My favorite part of the new year is when we invent imaginary borders in time to give our lives structure AND IT WORKS

I bet the hardest part about being a shelf in a liquor cabinet is just keeping your spirits up

Monopoly to replace the iron with a cat. No word on whether they'll replace the game itself with one that doesn't make you hate your family.

I'm not really getting these Richard III references because I never saw either of the first two