if the world ends, at least I got to spend some of my last moments in a kohl's parking lot eating leftover chinese food with a plastic spoon

wisconsin kids, did any of you go to the @realdaytrotter barnstormer show at the walworth county fairgrounds last night?

saints oh saints, at least you're not the vikings!

I went to target to buy cover up. I wanted to go to walmart just so I could say I did it. and if you understand the reference, I'm sorry.

proof http://twitpic.com/lds7q

oh hey I just got married or whatever

me and @britnified are great gatsby lovers and @sokane1 is a photography lover. let's be a band, we can call ourselves f-stop fitzgerald

@conortripler @blackbobross you are welcome! We're actually under a tornado watch here in NC so I would poop if I heard sirens.

@blackbobross @conortripler yeah not good timing

@blackbobross @conortripler  https://twitter.com/subsidenceinc/status/325297717775593472 … test today, no tornado!

@conortripler statewide tornado siren test in WI today!

So are all swimmers major bro stoners or...?

@vodkadiets I think I do this sometimes

One day Ron Paul will actually die, and I won't believe it because #RIPRonPaul is always on my twitter feed

walmart's official twitter account is @walmartspecials. it's like they mock themselves so I don't have to

an unraveled cassette tape stretches pretty far around this office, apparently

things the baby has put in his mouth tonight: his own sock, my elbow (thought it was food?)

schrute bones

my little kony... wait, too soon?

taking back sunday "liar" is a total guilty pleasure driving song