Ladies, if you're wondering why your love-life sucks, you should definitely check for the quantity of sneaker-heels in your wardrobe. #NEVER

Why do dudes never rap about hayfever? Shit is rough.

 http://emergencycompliment.com/  This might be my new favourite website.

Whats the German word for being totally content to sit on your balcony and read on a Saturday evening?

Orbital live on @boilerroomtv ... LOCKED!

and the Lord of freelancing came down, and he said "all your invoices will be paid promptly" ...and this is how I know god isn't real.

me irl + my dude irl while skateboarding across new zealand pic.twitter.com/nPFVAuWAV3

also lol at this 'mot-dièse' issue, because you know, maybe start out preserving language with say, a word for weekend.

I have really got to stop checking Resident Advisor after I have decided on a quiet night in…

*linkedin posts mail to my grave with a single red rose*

Life is just clothes for all your thoughts.

SCIENCE BONER.  http://www.mnn.com/sites/default/files/user-59/hurricane-sandy-golden-spiral.jpg …

I get more offended if a client asks for a logo to be made bigger than if a sexual partner asks the same of my penis. #designerproblems

First 20ml: I hate riesling. Last 20ml: OMG I LOVE RISELING LIFE IS SO BRIGHT AND DELICIOUS.

If anyone is wondering where their hangover went this morning, it's okay, I appear to have all of them.

I think my French teacher is fucking with me. pic.twitter.com/gzaRqBix

I've been to funerals funnier than the big bang theory. BAZJHINGO.

S N O W D A Y

Startup idea: fireworks live feed audio app to sync explosion visuals with causal booms. #freemoney #venturecapsgetatme

.@indigenousx is raising $10k for Indigenous literacy if he hits 10k followers in the next 3hrs. I don't do this often, but please support!